*********Breaking News************ Read all about it HERE!

LIVE 2 GIVE: Are You Ready To Transform Your Life?

Finally! The wait is over, the truth about sowing, reaping and prosperity!  However, I am allowing only 35 people to take a sneak peak and sign up before going public with the official launch which will take place in the Spring of 2016!

Read on, if you DARE....

My friend, can we talk? Seriously? Can we drop all the pretenses, unveil the masks, release the hype and re-write our paths to destiny that God already declared over us?

For once....just once I would like to connect and have a conversation with people who aren't afraid to tell the truth, but they are willing to hear the truth even more! 

The TRUTH is...

• it is better to give than to receive, but there is a circulation involved
• churches are filled with those who  are in debt and struggling but is this what the Lord's wants
• we are continuously seeking for a blessing but settling for crumbs instead of sitting at the table
• we've been sold a "bill of lies" as it relates tithes, offering and prosperity in general

My Personal Story..

I realized that many Christians spend a lifetime seeking the opportunity to live in "Prosperity" However, they run from true prosperity and do not realize that the Bible (God's Word) tells us we should be prosper, meaning no lack.

I have been in Church since I was six years old and have heard several sermons on giving, tithing and prosperity. Not until this year was I even curious to discover for myself the real message in giving. I struggled with tithing until a few years ago, my Bishop sat me down for two months due to my disobedience to the Word. The whole time I wanted to call foul play. Until God stepped in on the scene to show me where I lacked in knowledge and understanding. As I reflect over my life, I realized that there were key principles that I used to govern the way I live my life but in giving, I had knowledge but no understanding. Therefore, I did not use wisdom and was caught in a vicious web I had weaved for myself and no matter how hard I twisted and turned, I was not getting out without help from God. Which brings to this year. I have experienced God's grace in giving but again it was hit and miss and I was struggling still. I felt that the tithing principles did not truly worked or I was missing a step. What God showed me was I was good a tithing but my heart was not cheerful. I was good at giving, but my attitude was not always right. I gave to needs that bought about more need into my own life. I had knowledge but did not always apply it correctly. What helped me was my  application of His Word through faith. Principles guide every aspect of our life & there were key principles that assisted me in attracting an understanding about tithing, offering, giving to the poor, emotional giving and YES prosperity. What i have found out all stems from the Word of God and, believe it or not, is taught in financial courses in universities across the nation.

So if you are ready to experience all the wisdom of the Bible, gain more knowledge about how God views giving, and attract wealth within the next year...then this program is for you!

If you are ready to release debilitating patterns and beliefs, shift from poverty to prosperity, release past hurts of old concepts, elevate your vibration, evolve into a magnetic being attracting all that God has stored up for you then sign up now. Do Wait because space is limited and this introductory price will NOT be offered again.

Here's just a smidgen of what we'll cover...........

• This is not for the faint in heart
• How to Release the Past to Invite the New
• The Dynamics of a Sowing and Reaping
• The Myths we were Told and Bought into
• How to Prosper According to the Word of God
• What Year Are You In...Noah Talked About the Flood for 120 Years
• Tear down Strongholds - it's Time to get to Work
• It's Your DUE Season
• And so much more!

The first call is Friday, September 25, 2015 @ 6 PM PST/9 PM EST.

Course starts October 3, 2015 at 9:00 AM  PST/12:00 PM EST

Accepting 35 individuals who are READY! 

Investment $197 (Introductory Offer)

You can also pay in three payments of $70 (Additional administrative fee included. All payments are made through PayPal. If you don't have a PayPal account, Please email me for other payment options.)

Also, ask how you can join the course FREE of charge!!! It's going to blow your mind. There are only 5 free spots so act Quickly!!

Dare 2 LIVE 2 Give!

P.S. If you have referrals then send me their emails (only with their permission first) and I will make sure they get the official information...this opportunity is only for the first 35 people! Including the 5 free spots.

P.S.S. IF the response for this first class... is great and I get an additional 35 people... I am willing to teach two different classes at this phenomenal price because I know the Lord is going to break the spirit of poverty off the lives of those who walk by faith. But you must register no later than September 1, 2015. IF there is a second class added the dates will be released once the 2nd class is full. The first class will cut off at 35.

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 4)

As we journey along life and we see what God is doing among us in this place we call earth, sometimes, we need to be reminded who we are and to whom we belong. 

Romans 12:1-2

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

 What does this mean to you? Well, to me...God is dealing with me about being selfish. Stop complaining about what's wrong with this or that. Stop asking God why don't I get this or that. Stop wondering when my blessing will come. Stop interfering with those around me from getting their blessing because I am to busy worrying about me. I must be a living sacrifice HOLY and ACCEPTABLE which is my reasonable, the least I can do, service to God himself.

The question poised to me was "Linda, you keep asking Me to applaud you for your daily sacrifices and your reasonable service but when are you going to understand that is what you are supposed to do?" 

It is sort of like a man being applauded for taking care of his children, the ones he fathered. It is like you getting a job performance evaluation of "meets" and feeling you have done an "exceeds" performance. I remember as a young lady with my first job, a boss told me that he does not give awards for coming to work every day (perfect attendance), that is the least you can do. I give you a paycheck every two weeks that should be award enough. I thought that was pretty harsh of him but I am understanding it now. Why do we want God to reward us for our reasonable act of worship. Don't get me wrong He will celebrate our obedience to Him, it just may not be the way we think it should be. 

In this we must transform our thinking to His thinking. We must allow the same mind in Christ to be in us. We, well I, have to start asking God to renew my mind each day. Ask Him what thoughts I should have today, What things I should do today, what things I should say? When something happens in the day, I should not jump to my own conclusions but ask what do you think about this Father? More than WWJD (What Would Jeus Do), but WWJT (What Would Jesus Think). 

As I begin to go through this process, I am learning more and more that it's not about me. I am learning that as I think more like Christ I will understand more what His will is for me. His will is good, perfect and acceptable, meaning I become more pleasing to God. So just obeying the simple task of being a living sacrifice, transforming by the renewing of my mind and and knowing God's good, perfect and acceptable will, I am meeting his expectations and well on my way to exceeding them. Nice!

I Corinthians 3:16-17

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple."

 I Corinthians 6:19-20

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Last thought, all this makes me think about how well I am taking care of the temple that I am for Christ. Am I getting enough sleep? Am I operating as I should be? Do I understand that God is control of this vessel? Do I want him living in a sloppy mess? I have to make it a proirity to take better care of this temple God has blessed me with. I must love this temple just as God loves it. 

So, how does all this fit together, well just that. Doing what's right for my temple and being obedient to the signals of my body, making the necessary changes and transforming my mind to think differently about my health, wealth and emotional being is pleasing to God.

The journey continues...




You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 1)

So I just completed my first day of this journey of being obedient. 

I must admit it was hard today. With all the things I knew I had to do on top of running my businesses and non-profits. I was a bit overwhelmed. The temptation was strong today. Distractions pulled for my attention and many times I found myself having to close my eyes and say, "Focus Linda." But I made it.

I started my day off with prayer. I prayed for guidance and enlightenment. Now this is not a normal morning prayer for me, but as I am on this journey I want to be able to see things I would not normally see, as it pertains to my obedience to God. After prayer, I did my daily Bible reading. I decided as a Church body that the members of New Life would read through the Bible together. I had fallen off a bit, but I am catching up now. So I read about 12 chapters today. 

Again it was hard not to go into study mode. But I pressed my way. One thing I do know is that I love reading the Bible. It relaxes me. After reading my Bible, I did a some journaling so I could reflect on my current situation. there are some things that have gone astray and gotten off track. So, I let myself ponder on what I did wrong and how I can avoid getting to this place the next time.

God spoke to me today about finishing what I start. See my current situation is the way it is because I will start things but I get distracted and sometimes I don't finish or I take longer than needed to get it done. I now know that God wants me to get focus on the things that I am supposed to be doing and not let anything, even my own selfish desire hinder me. 

This obedience journey is going to be hard than I thought. You see I thought, "I did this before, soI know what to expect. However, God had other plans and this journey is already turning out to be a totally different journey than the last time I did this. Then again, I am in a new place, a different mindset and I have matured just a bit in Christ and in the natural. 

So I surrender to God and all that he has for me during this journey. I will obey!


Are you taking this journey with me? tell me about your journey. I would love to hear from you. 


You are Bound No More. 


Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime 

(Corrected Post) Philippine Chronicles: Part 4: The Conclusion of the Matter

So when it is all said and done. Did I ever get my AHA moment. Yes, I did. However, it did not come as quickly as I would have liked. It came slowly. there were some tings I had to let go of. Some thoughts that were working against me. The pain of doing something so out of character and stupid clouded my mind from seeing what God was really trying to show me.

When I finally settled in and really did some soul searching. It was made clear. As my Friend Kelsi, would say, Clarity is divine, and it is!

So what was my AHA moment.  Well it may not seem muc to you but it's the world to me and believe me these words have transformed my life.

DO NOT FEAR!

As i stated before, only a few knew about what was going on while it was going on. But the reason for it all was fear. I was afraid of what people would say. How they would see me. I was afraid of what the Filipinos would say becasue I was not like evangelist rein, or elder Steph. My ministry was different. I was afraid to be who god said I was and be comfortable in that knowledge. I know that I am anointed but when you see others operate sometime we feel less than.

That was my problem. I felt less than.  God wanted to use me supernaturally but that meant I had to be okay with how He uses me. NOw dont get me wrong, when I am under the amointing I dont care but I cant afford to be in my flesh at all. The kind of ministry that God has called me to... well I am called to it because it is my spiritual fingerprint. It is the mark that god will leave on the world because I exist to be the vessel that h will use. I got in my own way. 

In a conversation, Someone asked me was I mad that God changed his mind. God immediately spoke to me and said "I never changed my mind. You did, Because of fear!" I remember a few years ago I heard or read somewhere that god told us in the bible 356 time to efear not. wile this is not true there are 110+ verses in the KJV of the Bible that tell us to "fear not", "do not be afraid", "Do not fear" etc. so when you think about it, God knew we would struggle with fear and made sure that he mentioned it enough that we would have the knowledge and understanding to overcome fear.

Fear is truly false evidence appearing real. It's a lie from the enemy that we are less than, not good enough, too bad to be transformed...whatever he might be putting in your head to get you distracted off what God is trying to do in and through you. My fear halted me. It did not stop me. Why do I say that, because I have chosen that I am what god says that I am and I will do what god says I will do in the way he has anointed and appointed me to do it. I know not everyone will like my style or hear my testimony but there are those that are assigned to me. 

I accept my assignment and move forward.  NO MORE FEAR!



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Philippine Chronicles: Part 2: The Conclusion of the Matter

I waited and waited. Then I got a message from Rein, she told me that they were setting up the Internet and would be connecting soon. So I waited.When we finally got connected the connection was bad. So we had a few disconnects. I just prayed that God would have His way. We reconnected and I would get knocked off. Nothing seemed to be going right. 

Then I was connected and I could see Praise and Worship happening but I could not hear. I was feeling a bit distant and disconnected from them. It was not like the time Evangelist Rein, Elder Steph and I had visited with them before on Skype. that time we could feel God even over Skype. We could hear them and see and we were immediately connected in the spirit with them. I began to pray that the Spirit that was in the Service would transfer to me. Then I lost the pic. After a few more tries, I was back on. I told myself, God's will get the glory.

When it was time for me to begin preaching, before I could open my mouth, we were disconnected again. We kept reconnecting, then I began preaching. As I began to speak, I could feel God's Presence. I could not see them, and I was not sure if they could see me, but I preached as if I was standing there in front of them.

Then I was cut off again. Each time I came back, I would pick right up where I felt off. Then finally, I got cut off and we could not reconnect. I had not even got to my second point. I sat there trying to reconnect. So about 5 AM my time, I logged off my computer and prayed for the service, I knew one of the Other ladies had to complete what I started so I just prayed that God would weave it all together. I messaged Rein and asked her to let me know how it went. about 6 AM I went to bed.

I slept for about 12 hours. Now it is important that I tell you this because normally, I only get 4-5 hours of sleep and my body wakes. Even when I try to sleep longer, I can't so the very fact that I slept 12 hours...meant something to me. 

When I finally got up, Not only was I well rested, but I was sluggish. I knew I needed to decide wat to do to inform my supporters, and those waiting to hear about my journey to Philippines. I had stated on FB, that I would have a #ChroniclesofPhillippines. I knew that some were seeing the Pictures Rein had posted and read some of her posts and by now were wondering where my posts were. I had not said anything to anyone except for those that knew about it. Plus I had not really posted anything on FB since my picture I had taken saying that I was preparing to leave that past Tuesday.

Stay tuned for more to come!


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Philippine Chronicles: Part 1: The Conclusion of the Matter

So a few weeks ago, I said that I would finish my chronicles. I must admit this hasn't been as hard as I originally thought it would be. However, I am still learning from this and I pray that in all this that you have been able to see the redemption, healing and restoration that has occurred and is occurring.

It is my hope that these last few entries will bless you as much as they have blessed me.

So the story continues.

Now a short recap, I was was waiting for the AHA moment. That moment that would give me the clarity I was seeking. In the meanwhile, I was waiting to hear from Evangelist Rein about preaching via Skype. 

So I get back on my computer about 12 AM. To my surprise, there is an inbox from Rein. I was scheduled to preach at the 6 PM service on Sunday. So I started trying to figure out the time difference. The Phillippines is 15 hours ahead of California. So 6 PM their time would be about 3 AM my time. So I had 3 hours to get myself together. I went to my sermons folder and opened up the file that I had typed for the Word God had given me to share. It was still in notes form because I had figured on the plane I would be able to polish it up and set it up in some kind of format. Now there was no time for that. I read through the notes and then prayed for the delivery of His message to His people.  As I prayed, God switched the message from what I was meditating on to a totally different sermon. He impressed on me to preach from Mark 8th chapter about the blind man who was brought to Jesus to be healed and to continue on to the story of Peter confessing that Jesus was the son of God. I read through the verses quickly and asked God what He wanted to say to His people. 

Praying and Meditating on the verses, God began to speak so clearly to me. I jotted a few notes, but I must admit, I got a bit unnerved because I felt ill prepared. I knew that God would pull it together. However, I was still a bit panicked.

I continued to pray and ask God presence to go before me and touch the hearts and minds of the people that would be gathered. I asked him to knit me together with them even though we were thousands of miles apart. I anointed myself with oil, my eyes, my mouth and my ears. I asked God to move me out of the way and to use me as a vessel of honor.

At 3 AM my time, I logged into my Skype account and waited for them to connect with me. I sent a message to rein so she would know that I was ready on my end.

Stay tuned, there's more!


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Faith Testimony

I just wanted to share a faith story (testimony). Some may think that this is a strange story or maybe even unbelievable but listen to this and know that God gets all the glory. This testimony was written back in 2011. However, it is still true today and it's been 4 years now. So this is what I wrote back then... but I am still rejoicing about it today.

A few months ago... I was struggling financially and I wanted my situation to change. I had been in business for two years and I was only breaking even. Nothing of the abundance God had promised. It seemed like all my efforts were to no avail. Then I prayed in January...the Jabez prayer you know the enlarge my territory, increase me, no limits, you know the prayer. well I prayed and I felt God but things did not change.
February was more of the same. March came and I was desperate. I asked God to show me how to live in abundance. I wanted my finances to change. God started working on my unforgiveness. I want my finances to change, God started working on my commitment level to Him. I wanted my finances to change, God started asking for my devotion and started causing more ministry opportunities. My finances were still the same. Now dont get me wrong, I had the bare minimum, a house to live in, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, a car to drive, and food to eat. Men were giving into my bosom but I wanted the good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

So in April, more of the same I prayed for more finances God worked on me inside and out. May came and now I am frustrated, "God I am praying more, fasting and reading Your Word. I am teaching more studies and doing all that You asked me to do. When will you enlarge my territory, when will you grow my business?" God started giving me coaching program ideas and started giving me vision for my company. I worte the vision and when I looked at it I still said " Huh? God but how is this going to come about with no money, or at least more than I have." God blessed me with a speaking engagement at a women's conference where he spoke to me directly. This woman I had never seen before told me exactly what my life was and will be. I breathed a sign of relief. However, things did not change actually they got worse.

Now we are in June, My Bishop preached a sermon on Faith. He kept saying what's in your hand?" So I went home that Sunday afternoon and asked God to show me what was in my hand. He began to show me all the potential that was in my reach and how to use it. The answer came so quickly I filled up two journal books with all the Lord was showing me and teaching me. I started to see there were tips, techniques and strategies in what the Lord had given me. I started working the plan, if you will, three weeks later my situation went from breaking even to overflow. I had made some authentic connections, my ministry starting flowing and my family, let just say total turn around. It seemed every area of my life was moving in the right direction and it was all coming together...Yes even my business. Today I am awaiting a settlement from 1989... not waiting for it to settle it has settled and the check is in the mail. (I got the check too)

Listen, God has truly blessed every area of my life and now what I thought was impossible is a reality for me. I hope this blesses you.

P.S. I know someone reading this will say, oh that's good for you or yeah talk to me in a year, but let me say this... Until you are ready to stop waiting on God to move on your behalf and are really ready to go to work and be obedient to god and his plan for your life you will not experience a total turn around. This time next year you will be the same but I will not. I have learned that God has plans for my life and I am willing to live the way He wants me to live. So, don't feel sorry for yourself...get with God and ask Him...What Do I have in my hand? He will show you if you don't know and not only will He show you like He showed me, He will instruct you how to use it. The Principles He uncovered in my life was not just for me. Know this, God is a good God and no respecter of persons. What He will do for me He will do for you. Trust and believe.

So now reading this, I realize that I am still in the overflow. I have a coaching business, a publishing House, two non-profits and have started walking in my destiny. Do things get tight? Yes, but reading this testimony, I am encouraged that the abundance is still coming and God gets the glory for this story and all the stories to come.  So my life has been changed and I can't go back!


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Meet Pastor Linda Hillman

Many of you have read my blogs and maybe have asked yourself... Who is this lady? Well, Let me take the time to introduce myself to some, to present myself to others and to remind yet more of you that I am just a Woman saved by grace. There is nothing special about me but my Love for the Lord and his people. Ministry is truly my life. I pray that this helps you see a part of me that will help you make it through your struggles. I am an open book so that deliverance can be administered.

So here it goes!

Well, I have had my share of ups and downs. My childhood was not perfect and I have since learned that it was not as bad as I thought it to be during my childhood. There were a few things worst than what occurred to me. I grew up in church, but that did not stop the Devil from tempting me with the "Life". At an early age, I was involved in gang violence and if it had not been for a praying mother, I would have been lost to that life. BUT God's purpose for my life was not my own. I thank God I never really got involved in the drug scene and drinking just was not in the cards for me. However, lustful desires would cause this church girl to get involved in something just as addictive as drugs and alcohol. The desire to please my flesh and that I did in every way possible. Let's just say, anything you heard about Church girls being bad, well I might have written the book on it.

At the age of 14, I was tired of running from God and my calling and went to a Catholic Church and asked God to show me what He was really like. I needed to know Him for myself. I was no longer satisfied with the stories in the Bible or the testimonies I had heard from others. I wanted to know God as my Personal Savior. Two weeks later, while visiting some friends in Loomis, CA. I was in a back-slidden state of mind and during a Sunday night worship service, with the power of God all over me, refused to praise God unless I was going to praise Him for real. I did not want to be a hypocrite. That night, I had a dream and I saw Christ clearly. His face was so close to my face that I could have touched Him and He said, "Linda, I died for you, I love you. I have called you to prophesy, preach and teach My word." Those words, as simple as they were, revealed so much to me. God knew MY name and he knew where I was. If God, who created the universe and all that we know to be real, could pay me a visit, then I would acknowledge Him. 

The next day, I completely started a new. I went back to the things I knew as a child. I started getting more involved in our Youth Department, I got on the Bible quizzing team, I studied His word and began to let the hatred and malice go. The word began to wash over me. It was more than words to memorize, it was my lifeline. I began to love the woman I was to become. I have never looked back again. I am not perfect, but I know that I am truly free, forgiven and healed of all past sins. I have learned that releasing things to God allows you to walk out your destiny in Him.

God blessed me to start a ministry called W.H.O.L.E. (Women Healed Of Life's Experience) Ministries in 2005. This ministry is for women who have experienced life in a damaging way and feel that they are broken. They feel no one can love them. It is a ministry for them to become W.H.O.L.E. again. I focused on people in the community and those not of the household of faith. I understand that believers had a balm in Gilead but the unbeliever didn't know nor did they understand God's love for them. They needed someone to show them the way.

Later in 2009, I started a subdivision of W.H.O.L.E. Ministries called Living above Hurt Ministries, this subdivision was offered only to the Body of Christ. After hearing horrific stories of people that had been hurt in the Church and spiritually, emotionally, verbally, mentally abused by other saints. I knew that W.H.O.L.E. Ministries was not the place for them and created Living Above Hurt to be a safe haven for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

My passion in life is to be pleasing only to God. Sometimes that means that those around me cannot understand why I do certain things. I am now aware, this happened to Jesus and when people talk about me, I know that I am walking in His footsteps. Right now I am not tired, I am running this race stronger than I have ever ran. I see and feel the passion when I teach, preach and prophesy God's word to the unbeliever and the saint alike.

My favorite saying is God show yourself mighty in this place. I have yet to see him fail when the request is made.


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime 

That Hurt Me Now You Want Me to Get Over It?

 In starting this blog, I want it to be a haven for those that feel that they have no place to go to share their stories of hurt. Especially those in the church. those that have been on the front lines in ministry and for whatever reason you were wounded fatally by "friendly fire".In the military this is the term they use for someone who was shot by their own. Of course, that does not make it easier to take. It, at least to me, is more difficult to understand, whether it was an accident or intentional. So let me be the first to share my testimony with you. Maybe this will cause others to see that this is a safe place.

I first must tell you that I am an ordained Evangelist with a calling of Pastor on my life. I also operate in the gift of prophecy and have given words of wisdom, knowledge and can discern things. I said all that to say that I am not some fly by night who was saved yesterday and have not had my wounds in the battle. I come from an organization well known and United Pentecostal Church International (UPCI). I attended the Voice Of Pentecost church for 20 years until the Lord moved me, via a few stops, to Victory In Praise Church, where I currently serve. It is important to know that UPCI did not openly support women ministers, however, I was attending a church (VOP)where a woman was the Pastor and it was one of the largest churches in San Francisco. I am sure some feel that God can't use a woman in the ministry to preach his gospel but I am firm believer that God will use what He wants to, when He wants to, how He wants to. He is sovereign.

Now that you know my pedigree. What I am about to share with you is how the Lord helped me not only see that others may be hurting like I was but that I have been anointed to minister to them in their pain.  A pain that I lived with for years. Not only does my pain stem from the church but it also has reaches from outside the church. However, all that I have gone through good and bad, was all a part of God's divine plan for my life. You may say, How can you say molestation was a part of God's plan for you...Well Jeremiah 29:11, to put it simply.

A few years back, I went through the most tormented time of my life and it was by the hand of a Christian woman.  A woman, that at the time, I considered to be a dear friend. She knew private things about me and all those things were used to turn others against me. Now, it is important to say it started with a true statement, I had over heard a conversation, and instead of getting an understanding like the Bible said, I went to someone that I trusted and told them what I had heard. A few days later, after I talked to one of the ladies in the original conversation, I got the information I was missing and went back to clear it up with the person I told. To me, it was over and I never mentioned it again. A few months later, rumors began surfacing that said I had said "this friend" of mine was pregnant and sleeping with her boyfriend. I was floored, nothing like that had come out of my mouth and what I had said was not even close to it. So, my pastor approached me and asked me if I had said this. I denied it and told him what I had said.

I could tell that he was skeptical of my words and said that we would have a meeting. (He, my accusers, and me). I agreed to the meeting. I will just let you know that meeting never happened but the rumors of what I said grew and grew. Now I take responsibility for what I did but I also did clear it up or so I thought. The real pain came in when they used my mother to speak against me. She, my mother, trying not to be dishonest in any matter told them things that were confidential between she and I because she did not want to seem like she was withholding anything. Now my mother gets nervous under pressure and she will forget to say important things and after think, "Man I should have said this or that." So you can only imagine, she forgot to say things and in her zeal to clear my name she gave them the ammunition to cause more damage.

Long story short, my friend went to others in the church and began to spread her side of the story and asking them had they heard me say things about her. They all said no! They even admitted, that her approaching them to tell them what I said was the first that they had heard it. When I got wind of it, I went to God, upset to put it nicely. I wanted revenge and I wanted it quickly. For months this misunderstanding went on and on. No meeting was ever scheduled to bring us all together to clear it up. I never got my day in court, you can say. So it went on and on,

One day she approached me and said she wanted to ask some questions. She asked the questions and I answered them honestly and truthfully. She then told me that she understood everything and that there was no reason for us to have a meeting it was all a big misunderstanding. However, my name was mud. I had no means of restoring my name. She had weaved a web that I was trapped in. I became sick. I started getting migraines, which I had not gotten for 10 years. I fell into depression, I did not want to leave my house the only time I left was to go to church and work.

Even though we supposedly had talked everything out, there was still things being said. The worst thing was that many other things started happening. It seemed I was always being called into the Pastor's office about something I said incorrectly to a member of the church, they were hurt by my words. Reflecting back I see now that hurt people; will hurt others and I am sure that many people felt my wrath not because they had done something wrong but because I was hurting and no one was offering me a safe haven to heal from the wounds that had occurred. It started to affect my ministry, during this time I had been an ordained Minister of the Gospel so my ministry so suffering right along with my soul, heart and mind.

Now I must admit I am only giving the high points so this blog doesn't become an ebook, but let me say this. It was blow after blow. I suffered many things at the hands of several people during this time. I would cry myself to sleep every night I wanted to defend my self but God told me no. I prayed and fasted. I became bitter towards God, how could God that loved me allow this to happen to me. Then the answer came about three years after all this had taken place, I was sitting in the sanctuary waiting for Bible Study to start and God spoke to me clearly, "Linda, you are doing all that you know how to live for me yet, if you don't change your path it will lead you to hell." The tears began to flow and I knew I could not make excuses any longer. That was my wake up call. I went from prayer line to prayer line looking for someone to help me get through this turmoil in my soul and I found no one that would. Most of them told me, "It happens, just get over it. You are a Minister, shame on you for not allowing God to work in your life." Needless to say, I was backed in the corner, so I turned to the one person I knew that could help me. God.


You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman 

My Process (Revelation)

First you must realize that scars are reminders of what you have been through but scars don't hurt. wounds on the other hand, well that is a different story. If you can think about your hurt and still feel the pain, you are not experiencing a scar but a wound.

That is where I found myself in 2005. I thought I had forgiven those that had hurt me. I thought I had healed but I was making decision based on that pain - those wounds. Remember in my last post I said that God spoke to me and made it clear that my bitterness, hatred, strife, meanness was a slippery slope to hell. Well, that was the beginning of the end for me. I knew a change had to be made. I was not sure how to change but God spoke to me about commitment to Him and His word. Now I had thought I was committed to God, so how could God want more commitment from me. I was preaching and teaching his word, how much more did I need to commit to His Word? This is when I realized that you can be in church and not be saved. Let me explain. I loved the Lord and I knew how to pray. I sang in the choir, I preached the truth, God spoke to me. I had the Holy Ghost could speak in tongues for hours, I was baptized and believe me I had confessed Jesus and him crucified for years. However if you would have asked me what my relationship with God looked like, I would have told you all those things and still not answered the question. Why? Because my relationship was no existent. I knew of God, I heard about him but I did not know him for myself. I could recite the stories about him but I did not believe it for me.

I was too busy nursing my pain. I wanted to remain the victim so even God could not reach me. I was broken and not willing to heal. Moreover, I was hurting God and his people. I was a spiritual bully. I judged others because I was intellectual in my experience with God and I thought that made me better than the rest. The girl that had gone through so much abuse in my life, had now become the abuser. Now you see why God said I was on a slippery slope?

However, when god started to get through to me, I knew a change was needed. This girl had to hit rock bottom and believe me, I did just that. That's when true deliverance came and my healing process began. I am so much better for it too. I still have my flashbacks and moments of taking one step back but God is always there prodding me forward. He has sent wonderful people to me to help me and show me the way.

I pray that I become a beacon of light to others.

You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman 

A Women Healed of Life's Experience

The one thing we need but many of us struggle to get is respect. In life, we will go through some hard times and if we are lucky, we will be able to come out on the winning side. However, what about the one that are caught in the cracks. Is there hope for the woman whose been abused (emotionally, mentally, physically or socially)? Who is there to let that woman know there is hope in her hopeless situation? 

We hear so much about sisterhood yet we are set apart. We gossip about one another, steal each other's men and if we get the chance, we will ruin another reputation so we look good. Now does this sound like sisterhood?

There is a story about a woman, who as a teenager suffered being molested, verbally abused and lived in a house of raging with domestic violence. This woman grew up with anger issues and never tried to deal with them. She had relationship after relationship fail. One day she came to the realization that the life she was living was just a shadow of what could be. She did not have to live with the pain, frustration and depression. She could rise above it. She could be free. However, she knew that wit would take some restoration of her inner emotions. She would have to learn how to look at life differently, not using her own reasoning because it was skewed and fragile.

She sought help from counselors and coaches that help her see past the hurt, habits and hang-ups. She was able to start a relationship on a healthy note and those negative friends – well she was able to influence them to be more positive. This did not happen over night it only started with a single step.

The first step can be the hardest however, if you are truly ready for healing to occur in your life then you will allow this step to take place, including removing all negative and unhealthy influences in your life. Many times, it is what we allow in our lives that hinder us the most. The woman mentioned above had to deal with the past in order to maintain her present and secure her future.We learned in history that if we do not learn from history it is bound to repeat itself. Well, this is true even in our lives. If we are not willing to learn from bad decisions, our fears, our failure and, even more importantly, our successes then we are bound to repeat them. Dr. Susan Jeffers says, “Life is not a struggle but an opportunity”. Additionally, you only get a single opportunity to make it count. Do not live with regret and remorse. Not to make light of the experiences you have been through, Nevertheless, if she can learn to let go of the pain and anger, then why not you? 

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 Living Above Hurt Ministries 

A Personal Testimony Part 4

This brings me to the next step I must admit my process started and stopped a few times, at this point. I did not want to relive the memories of what I went through as a child or young adult. Without that walk down memory lane and journaling exactly how I felt at given moments I would not have been able to release it the way I needed to. Almost a year before going through this process, a dear friend of mine tried to take me through this process and it backfired on him. He got to a point that he could not handle it. I prided myself in his defeat. I thought to myself that will teach him to fool with me. What I did not realize was this was God’s first attempt at taking me through this process but again I had not realized that I was the problem. After going through this process with God, I am thankful that my friend was willing to try to walk me through this. Even as I write this book, I realize that I need to go back to him and ask for his forgiveness. I was not rude to him at all but I was not open to what he was trying to walk out because God had put it on his heart.

There will be a time of brokenness as you deal with the emotions that stem from you remembering each piece part. However, this time of brokenness is needed. In order for truly wholeness to come sometimes you have be fall on the rock Christ Jesus and let him break up the fallow ground.

That is when I realized that this process does not end. It is ever evolving if you will. As new things surface you deal with them but the woman with the issue of blood had to say aloud what had happened to her. She had to tell the truth. She had to risk people smirking and laughing at her. She had to risk being scorned or ridiculed. The words of her story had to be told by her and relived so others would find the same path to healing. As she spoke the words, I believe that she realized it was over. She was not the same woman she was when she approached Jesus. This was her painful story. She experienced it. God needed her testimony. That seems strange to say God needed her testimony but it is true. He needed the people to hear her speak about her life. Those that knew her heard and could bare witness to her story. No one can tell your story like you.

When she finished, Jesus affirmed it all. He said because of your faith be made whole. He also, told her to walk in peace and be whole from her plague. You will start to feel different; God himself will affirm changes in you.

Once this process, is in progress you will see that it is a never-ending process. You will uncover things at each level that you will need to be set free from. The greatest thing is that you will be able to tell others what you have gone through and how god has changed you. I now give true hope to others because I understand this process. I have been made whole and want to take all those in need of the same healing along with me.

Life will bring great trials and tribulations. People will hurt you. You may have to suffer some things, but I have found that this process is a sure one to help me through every situation. God is always there to remove the scars, take away the pain and make me completely whole again.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 Living Above Hurt Ministries  

A Personal Testimony Part 3

While there in Loomis, I had a dream (vision): I was standing in a dark room and the face of Jesus appeared to me. Although I could not see any specific characteristics, I knew it was Jesus. His face was so close that I could have reached out and touched it while still feeling the backside of my own hand against my face. He spoke and said, “Linda, I love you. I died for you. I want you to prophesy, preach and teach My Word.” When I awoke, I remembered shaking and feeling the love, I needed. I shared my vision with no one. I was not ready, not with so much hate in my heart. Later I did, return to God and accepted the calling he placed on my life. For the most part it was a wonderful feeling helping others through their hurt and understanding God’s love. The only problem was I was not practicing what I was preaching. I was still angry with God for not protecting me as a child.

My life was just a vapor of what it could be until January of 2005. I was tired of crying myself to sleep. I wanted to experience the God I had read about. I wanted to be complete. I wanted to be the woman He created me to be. I went to him in prayer and I asked to experience Jesus like never before, I was not satisfied to go to church, preach, teach, sing and pretend anymore. I wanted to be delivered. That night I did not sleep. I prayed all night. God directed me to Mark 5:25-35. When I read this account of the woman with the issue of blood, I understand the process I needed to go through to be completely made whole. I began to study this passage, and God showed me clearly, what I needed to do. I brought a journal and began to write everything down, my emotions, my thoughts, my actions, and most importantly my revelations.

The process is simple, the steps are needed and I guarantee that if you step out on faith, you will touch the hem of his garment. First, just as the woman did, we must realize that we need a savior. In our world, we are taught as children to be strong and to take care of ourselves. People say things such as: “Don’t let any one push you around.” “If you don’t love yourself no one else will.” “If you don’t take it, someone else will.” All these are true to a certain extinct, in the whole process you have to be a bit selfish when it comes to becoming WHOLE, in that you will not let anyone stop your process, however YOU cannot do it God has to start and complete the process. In this case, He does care for YOU.

Now that you have realized your need for Christ to step on the scene, the next step is lay aside your pride. Pride is a huge problem when it comes to God. He does not like it one bit. He actually loathes it. It will cause some undue pain and drama if you cannot relinquish your pride and surrender to God. The Bible says that pride goes before a fall. Therefore, if you are not able to let your pride go, you will have to be broken. In the Christian world, there is a saying, “fall on the rock, which is Christ Jesus, and be broken before the rock falls on you and you are crushed.” I am not sure who first said this but I can say this: that person must have lived that to even give such vivid imagery. Who said we could not learn from the mistakes of others. There is not a lot to say here. Let go of pride and let God begin the process.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

A Personal Testimony Part 2

The next morning, I was shocked when I looked at my face and there was no sign of the struggle I had been through the night before. I left the house in a daze and went to school. I knew that I was not going to be alone in the house with him, so I planned on cutting my last two classes and staying with my friends until I knew he had left for work. Returning home, there was a note to call my mother in his handwriting. When I called, I got home by a certain time each day, no exceptions, and no excuses. I was infuriated; naturally, she had not considered what transpired the night before. She was signing my death certificate. How could she pressurize me with such a stipulation? The security I experienced previously suddenly dissolved. I instantly feared for my life. As I started on my chores, I deliberated how I would exterminate my own life. At first, it was because I would not allow him to slay me. Indubitably, it developed into; who cared about me anyway, not even my own mother cared for my safety.

Lost in my thoughts of despair and planning how I would do the unmentionable, I could feel the helplessness washing over me. The next day I went to school and came home just as my mother ordered me. When I got there, he was there waiting fro me. He mentioned that he was missing some marijuana. I was not concerned with this because I did not smoke, drink or do drugs. Priding myself in this, I heard him say, “I know you took it and I am going to show you what happens to people who steal.” Wait did I hear that right, I was being accused of stealing and He was going to punish me for it. This must be a joke. I told him that he could not touch me and I would call my mother. He just laughed and explained he had told my mother and she had given him permission, for lack of a better word, to do what he deemed necessary. My heart fell once again, Could not she see through this. It was obvious to me. This was retaliation for my telling her I had been molested at his hands. I could feel my heart pounding. I started to search the room for something to protect myself. Even if that meant, actually taking my own life. I would not allow him to harm me. Before I could get a good planned mapped out he was hitting me with a belt. Swinging it wildly and letting it hit me where it landed. I screamed in agony, I yelled and tears flowed. It seemed to be happening in slow motion and the strikes from the belt seemed more intense and painful. Suddenly the phone rang. I ran to pick it up thinking it was my mother and she had realized what she’d done and was calling to stop him. Instead it was my next-door neighbor, they were hearing the commotion and wanted to know if I was all right. He took the phone and said everything was fine. However, I think this made him become a bit aware that he could not hurt me because there were witnesses. Therefore, he hit me a few times more and then stopped. When he left for work, my next-door neighbor came over to see if I was “still alive,” she’d confessed. I was even angrier. I turned my back on God, because how could God allow this to happen to me. I was just 7 when I remembered it first happening and now seven years later I was still tormented by actions, I had not invited nor wanted. It was not my decision to go through this. Why me?

In December, I was an awful mess. I had been cutting school more often, getting into fights. Everything I did was out of anger. I was not a happy carefree teenager, the things that other teens wanted and liked to do, did not interest me. Friends in Loomis, CA asked me to come up there for a few days. My mother said I could go and so I went. When I got there, I was this BIG city girl in a cow town. Loomis was like nothing I had ever seen before. I was more miserable and wanted to go home. However, I wanted to be away from the madness of my life.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman

A Personal Testimony Part 1

Many times, we hear that God will bless us in this life. However, what happens when your life is so scarred by your past that any blessing from the Lord seems to be a slap in your face. Well, this is how I felt a few years ago. Miserably saved would be an understatement. A friend asked me if I could accept the love of Christ. I admitted, “No. I could not see how God could love me. I had done so much wrong, even though I understood God’s redemptive power and forgiveness, I somehow felt it had run out for me. However, I did not know where else to go.”  Therefore, I stayed in the church just hoping, my penitence would be enough. How could an ordained Minister of the Gospel admit that she could not accept the love of Christ? How did my life get so confused that I was lost…lost in the Church…lost in the Body of Christ? How did my relationship with the one who died for me become so meaningless?

To answer these questions, I would have to tell you about my life before January 2005. We will begin in my teenage years. At the age of fourteen, I realized there was something unique about the way I processed information. I did not think like others my age. Since the age of four, I lived in a two-parent home. My mother remarried when she became pregnant with my brother, the relationship I had with my biological father was strained, at best. Now at the tender age of fourteen, for the first time in my life, I thought about taking my own life. Not only, did I think about it, I planned it. Some might say that what you have described so far is not a sad story; why would you want to end it all.

When I turned fourteen, I was excessively depressed and oppressed. I carried a secret that haunted me for years. I remember it as if it were yesterday, that I went to my mother and asked her, “Mom, want did your mother say when you told her that you had been molested?” My mother discerning my intentions never answered me. She turned and looked directly in my eyes and said, “Linda, did someone touch you?” She assured me that I could tell her the truth and that she would believe me. I remember the words flooding from me like water pouring over a waterfall. I told her everything. I could not remember when it had started but my earliest memory was when I was seven. She listened and then said that she would not confront the one responsible until he tried to do it again. She wanted to catch him in the act so he could not deny it. At first this seemed strange to me since he was a bad tempered man and this seemed like it would became painful for me. He would surely retaliate by striking me, when I cried out for help. I resolved in my mind that I would do it and take whatever would happen. I trusted my mother and knew she would do as she had said.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

Philippines Chronicles: Lessons To Be Learned! Part 8

As I rested, the thought occurred to me...there was no AHA moment! Normally when God teaches me a lesson about me. I get an AHA moment. An AHA moment that elevates me. that causes me to be delivered from the bondage that held me captive. But this lesson did not come with an AHA moment. It was a lesson for sure but now, I knew there was more to come. 

Remember I said when I got to the airport the second time I immediately knew where my passport was. Well when things like this occur in my life, I immediately know what the root cause was that opened the door to it. What I had just experienced was the symptom, but not the root. I was clear on that. it would seem my insecurities were a root cause, but they were just the tip of the iceberg. I knew this was just the calm before the storm.

So then I asked God, what was I missing, had I missed His instructions. I started thinking about all the prayers that had been prayed from the time I was asked to go to the Philippines to now. Was there ever a "NO". Again when I ask questioned like this to God...He answers and I immediately know where, when and how. He may not tell me Why but I have the answer that I need. Nothing surfaced here. During this time, I had been in the presence of some BONAFIDE prophets and Prophetess. With all the prophetic people in my life including myself, no one said, "Linda god said no" however, there were words about what I would do while in the Philippines, about healing that would occur in my body as God used me to heal others, so where was the AHA moment? Nothing!

I asked more directly, "God where did I miss a step or where did you speak and I misinterpreted it or overrode it with my own agenda like I did when I got the unction to check for my passport? Even as I wrote in my journal about these events at the time nothing was becoming clear. No AHA moment.

Needless to say at 11AM, when Nick called again. He informs me that the ticket price has gone down a few dollars, it is now $928. He believed he could get it even cheaper. I told him I did not have that much, so he asked how much I did have. I told him I could get on my own about $300. Then Nick said something very interesting. He said if I can get you on standby on this flight, can you get at least $400. I told him that might be possible, but the flight leaves at 2:20 PM and I leave 1 1/2 away from SFO. He said we also fly out of Sacramento and there is a flight leaving Sac 9:55 PM. He also told me that the flight was not full so he might be able to get me on the flight. He would call me back after talking with his supervisor and the airline to let me know. I said okay. We hung up. I looked at my packed bags and my passport sticking out of my pouch. I thought to myself well at least this time I won't forget my passport.

A few hours later, I message Kelsi and Rein and tell them about the ticket and jokingly say, if I had the money, I would be on that flight to Manila right now. I chuckle to myself and I feel my eyes tearing up. I had made up my mind to give up. This was my way of letting go. So I decided to get back to working on my projects. I started going through emails and setting new deadlines. As I worked tears starting falling down my face. However, still no AHA moment.

I work on some projects some I have completed. I decide to get up get something to eat and I guess I should tell you. I have still been taking my Malaria pills because up to this point I had been still trying to go to the Philippines. But now after I eat. I decide not to take the pills any longer. I looked at the clock and it was about 2PM now. I sighed because I knew another flight headed to the Philippines would be taking off without me. Now three percent of me was hoping Nick was able to get me on the flight out of Sacramento but 97% was resigned to stay home. 

Since agreeing to Preach via Skype, I was waiting on Rein to give me the instruction on time and when. Based on the schedule that we had set prior to going to the Philippines I was to preach first but I knew they had to work some things out with the internet so I thought I would preach last or something. I knew it was approaching Sunday and since I hadn't heard I decided to catch up on some TV shows that I had recorded. Still not hearing anything from Rein, I began to think maybe they did not get it worked out. I turned off my computer and turned off my so I could put it on the charger. I continued watching my recorded programs and dosed off. 

Oh, there's more!!!!!! I will continue this in a few weeks..... Consider this the season finale... See you back with more in a few weeks... I promise you will hear all of it. 


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

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In The Meantime

Philippines Chronicles: Lessons To be Learned! Part 7

I got up on Saturday, Nick the travel agent called me. Now I should tell you that up to this point I had been avoiding talking to Nick. So when he called this time I answered. the price was still the same it was 939 and I said well I still don't have enough money, but I will try to work something out. He said he would call back around 11AM to check on my status. 

Now at this time I had not called anyone expect those that knew I had missed the flight the second time. So I called my Mother. I needed her to give me some tough love and wisdom. What my mom did for me in that call was priceless. She did not try to tell me anything but the truth. She said that I should repent to God for sabotaging his plan with my fear. I was like NO, I did not do that. She said, "Linda think about it. God said he was going to do some great things in and through you and because of your issues with what people have said in the past about you, somehow, you let their lies derail God's truth. You let your insecurities undermine what God said. That does not change what god said about you what he is going to do. I know and you know that you should be there. NO are no excuses. You choose this, maybe not consciously, but subconsciously you did. I mean come on, YOU don't do stuff like this, but you did it twice. YOU not anyone else. You can't blame anyone else for this but you. You got in your own way. So repent to God."

I mean my mother let me have it. She did not say if god would move a mountain to let me go. She did not make any promises, but she knew that at the end of the day, I had to be a clean vessel because God has called me to do great things in His kingdom and I can't be tainted when I do them. When I got off the phone with her I was ready to do the work needed to seek forgiveness and to really let go of whatever anger was building in my heart. Once again I heard my friend's words, in essence to examine my heart. I understood, this was just a portion of the lesson God was going to teach me through this whole ordeal and I had to get it right. 

I once again knelt by my bedside and I asked God not what to do, or would he make a way once again. I, now humbled myself before him and repented. I asked god to forgive me for blaming him, for blaming Jessica and trying to hide my anger, I asked him to forgive me for leaving my passport not just once but twice, for squandering his blessings and thinking I deserved his favor after I had messed it up.  Any thing and everything that came to my mind at that moment I repented for. I had to even ask God to forgive me for letting my mind go to suicidual thoughts. For once again trying to control a situaion by trying to advert his plan because it was hard. I asked him to forgive me for sabotaging his plan even though I did it unaware.

So let me say this, because as I write this now looking back on this situation, I beleive many of us do this. We want so badly to be who God says that we are that we sometimes unaware will allow out habits and hangups to cause us to make decisions that we cant explain in that moment but hindsight is 20/20. While this was going on, I would never had said I would sabotage anything God wanted me to but when my mother said it. It rang true within me. It hurt but I knew I had some messed up stinking thinking that hindered me from giving god my best and doing what he wanted me to do. ask yourself, Do I believe God or do i believe the lies of the enemy? Be honest with yourself. Do you think people areafter you because of your past situations. Do you think you will fail because someone told you you would. We sometimes hear things so much that even though we dont want to believe it, we begin to tell ourselves these lies and accept them as truth. But God is truth and every other man/woman is a lie including you when it comes to god's plan for youe life. Believe God. 

Okay now back to my story, LOL. I just had to take a moment to tell ya... what I felt God wanted me to say right there.

So I repented for everything. Whin I got up. there was silence. Now I truly rested. This was a depression rest, or a pity rest but I really rested. I did not want to do work, I did not want to unpack, I could not go back the usual. I just rested. My friend Barbara called to check on me. She encouraged me and as she began to encourage me another hurt surfaced. after the call I took that Hurt to God. My heart was no longer God make a way for me to get to the Philippines but now it was God if you come back tonight, I want to be ready. This flight I really didnt want to miss. I began to see that there was a link. The missed flights, and my heart condition were connected. I asked God to help me truly forgive those that had wronged me. I needed not to be guarded around them. I need not to sideeye them or even have thoughts of concern when they are around. I had to release it completely and fully. NOW God began to speak, He began to instruct me who I needed to have a conversation with and he showed me my heart being washed clean. The scripture: 

"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." Matthew 5:9

I knew that I needed to make peace with several individuals. From this point on, my main objective was to be right with God. I had made a mistake. I had let me get in the way of doing God's will. It did not surprise God but it had thrown me. One thing I knew the WHY God allowed was still not clear to me but I could not stay there. I had to move forward no matter how this turned out. This situation had me questioning everything the night before. On Thursday night I had been ready to walk away from it all.  Today I knew I was right where God wanted me to be. God was going to get the glory for this story.

Now, I started journaling about this on Wednsday night. I wrote about what had happened tuesday and wrote up til Wednesday night. to me athat would have been the end of the struggle and on thursday i would have been writing how God worked it all out and now I am on my way to the Philippines. that was not the case and to be honest I had not journaled the rest of this until Saturday night. But I am getting ahead of myself. as I journaled Wednesday night, god gave me what I thought was a Word to be delivered in the Philippines when I got there. It was about seeing God clearly, so you can understand what His plan for your life is about. 

I had told Evg. Rein this in a message and she and Eld. Steph said still deliver the word via Skype. Now they had said this on thursday evening but I was so messed up in my head and heart that I could not agree to do it. However, after having my heart cleansed, I went back and said I would do it.  I did not twll them that I was still trying to get there. One thing I knew for sure that if I got on a plane to te Philippines that they would be able to cover for me until I got there. I knew that God's will was goig to be done and I no longer wanted to manipulate or sabotage his plans any longer. So I rested In Him.

And the saga continues...



You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

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