Whose Plan Is it Anyway?

You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail. - (Proverbs 19:21 NLT)

Most of us have plans about how our lives will go. We have made plans to marry, having kids, some have planned on going to school, getting a great paying job with great benefits, and etc. We want the dream. We plan to live a good life and hopefully we are able to accomplish all the things we have on our bucket list before the Lord calls us heavenward bound.

We make mistakes, we fail, we succeed, we cry, we worry, we complain, we are happy, we are joyous. It's an uphill, downhill, steady movement. The journey is not easy nor is it always pleasant. we are constantly finding out that we are weak in one area or another. If you are like me you do ALOT of self-reflection, criticism and fear creeps in. You almost become paralyzed and can't breathe without feeling the pain of life. However, still you plan. Because no matter how hard it is, the pain of staying where you are is more unbearable than the pain of growing and moving forward. 

Jeremiah told Israel that because of their chooses God had to punish them. It's wasn't because he hated them but because they were unwilling to repent. They heard what Jeremiah said but choose to believe those that told them things they wanted to hear. However, Jeremiah keep speaking God's truth, even though it got him thrown into prison. He stood for what was right. Israel did go to captivity and they did have to pay for their mistakes and wrong choices. However, they great thing about it was God did not leave them without hope.

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. ‘I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’ -  (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NASB)

My personal observation is that it's not that God does not want us to plan. It is, however, that he wants us to consult with him before we plan.  There is a saying, want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans. this is not entirely true. I think God cries when we try to make decisions without Him because He knows that He will have to get us back in line with His purpose and many times that requires exposure and punishment. 

The Bible says in Proverbs, "To acknowledge Him in ALL our ways and He will direct our path." the key is to acknowledge Him in everything thing. then we will know that we are following His directives and His purpose will be fulfilled without all the heartache and pain. 

You are Bound No More. 


Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

God Qualifies Me

Colossians 1:11-12
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

I heard someone say that God doesn't qualify you. It sounds good but the truth of the matter is it is not Bible. When I heard this I felt some kind of way because my whole testimony and faith walk was lessened.

I asked God to show me in his word that he does give me the qualities that I need to be his servant and lead his people. Then I waited.

I waited for God to answer me. I waited to feel release against the attack in my mind about how I was telling others that no matter what you have done in your past it does not disqualify you from being used by God to further his kingdom. I waited for God to speak.

Today as I read these scriptures, tears rolled down my face as I saw in his word that he (God) does QUALIFY you. This qualify is different than his justification. It is different from his santifaction. He qualifies you because we need to know that he requires us to go beyond our self works. He requires us to operate in faith believing that even though we are not qualified to do it, we will be able to do it through and in Him

Oh how sweet it is to know that he is willing to use unusable vessels to accomplish his work. Don't don't count me out. I have been qualified by the Father to get the job done and to hear him say well done thy GOOD and FAITHFUL servant.

You are Bound No More. 


Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 15)

Listening is key in Obedience!

I was sitting in a quiet place waiting to hear from God. When the word "Listen" came to me. Which made me write it down. Then I began to think what is the difference between hearing and listening. Just so you know the difference is huge. 

When a person says I hear you, they are saying that I hear your voice. I hear the vibrations of your voice and I know that you believe what you are saying deserves my attention. Hearing means I may or may not be giving you my undivided attention. Hearing means that I may be formulating what it is I want to say back to you. Hearing means you have been heard but not truly acknowledged.

Now when someone says, I'm listening to you, well they are not just hearing your voice but they have decided to really hear. They hear you with their eyes. They notice facial expressions, breathing patterns, body language and the tones in your voice. How it fluctuates up and down, how it trembles. They sense your excitement, sadness, anger and etc... they can identify with each word and their attention is focused on what you are saying and if necessary they can repeat it word for word with the same intensity. They have listened to you. 

Now some would say the opposite is true, Listen is surface and hearing is a more deeper experience. But as the Lord spoke to me. I listened. 

When God finished speaking, I found myself still focusing on what He had said to me. I could not respond I had to let his words sink in. It was not a rebuke or something very profound. His words were healing me, restoring me and causing my mind to be renewed. His word were life to me and I did not want to lose their meaning in my own words and voice. 

The journey continues...


You are Bound No More. 


Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God

Well, today I start my journey of obedience and not only thatI begin it on a five day fast. Yes, that was sprung on me right before I started but it's all apart of being Obedient. I have to be honest doing a straight 5 day fast, well it's been a minute. I have done one day here and maybe three days there. if I go longer than 3 days it would be a 6 to 6 or midnight to 7. But this is old school for me. I use to fast alot in my twenties. I did a few 21 day fast most many times would do 7-10 tens.

So I start this obedience walk. For those that are going on this walk with me. I am glad to hve you on the journey and I look forward to hearing what the Lord does for you in the midst of this 21 day journey. I believe many things will be birthed in the spirit and you will see a greater and deeper calling on your life.

You may have your own list of things you are doing and wanting from god during this consecration but for me. it's simple. I want to be able to hear and obey God at all times. As a Pastor, when lives assigned to me, i cant take this thing lightly.

So for the next 21 days, This is my vow to you and more importantly to God.

1. Reading the word, not just studying it for sermons and counseling. 
2. Eating right and losing some weight (Fasting the first five days).
3. Forgiving those that have wronged me and seeking forgiveness from those that I have wronged. 
4. Staying faithful to my writing schedule (3 Hours daily except for Sundays)
5. Being more consistent in every area of life. Saying what I mean and meaning what I say.
6. Being faithful to accomplishing daily, weekly and monthly goals.
7. Not watching anything that is contrary to my Christian beliefs.
8. No gossiping/venting.

Yes I added two more things to the six things I already had. who knows by the end of this I may have added more to the list. 

You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

(Corrected Post) Oh How He Loves Me: A Father's Love

I did not grow up in the same house as my father. My biological father that is. However, he taught me some very important things even in his distance from me. 

As many of us have, especially African American children, my mother and father were divorced before I could walk good. Now, to their defense... it was a shotgun wedding. I mean my mother was 17 going on 18 when she found out she was pregnant with me and my father was 18 going on 19.  So needless to say, they got married and we became an instant family, I believe my mother was about 6 months pregnant walking down the aisle. 

So now back to my father and what he taught me. 

My father was not a rich man nor did he have a lot of material things to give, but I can say even in my darkest moments, My daddy loved me. even when I was unlovable and made it difficult for him to love me. He did. Wade Alfonso Hillman Sr. was the best daddy this girl could ever have. Let me tell you I made it hard on him to love me. I had heard so much about how terrible it was for my mother and the things she had suffered that I just really thought my father was a deadbeat dad. However, I only heard one side of the story.

When I finally got around to hearing his side, I was so sure it was a lie that I did not accept it. However, God used my Father's love for me to teach me about His love for me.

Like I said even when I made it extremely hard on my father. He never stopped trying to be my father. He never gave up on me and he never stop telling and showing m how much he loved me. His love won me over and we started having a better relationship and shortly after that he was gone. He had passed away. I regret the years that I would not accept his love for me.

I remember one day I was journaling about how much I missed my father and hearing him say I love you, when god spoke to me. "Why did you wait so long to receive his love?"  I then heard my voice saying about God and his love... I just can't receive God's love after all that I have done. God showed me that the same issue I had with my biological father was the same issue I was having with my Spiritual Father. He loved me unconditionally. He never asked for anything in return, but I could tell when I had hurt him. However, it dd not stop him.

If my biological father could love me unconditionally until death tore us apart. Then why is it so hard for me to understand the love of God for me. Not only did God robe himself in flesh to have something in common with me but he gave up his life that I might live. When Christ tell me he loves me, it is easier for me to understand what that kind of love is because I understand now how much my earthly father loved me.

Even though my dad has been gone for years, He is still close to me because every once in a while I remember him saying I love you. It was not eloquent or poetry, but it was heartfelt. so even now I felt his love. but even more importantly because of his love, I can now understand my heavenly father's love toward me. I understand that even when I disappoint him, he will not give up on me.

So thank you Wade Alfonso Hillman for loving me. it's because of your love I know an everlasting love.  RIP Daddy! Happy Father's day!

Faith Testimony

I just wanted to share a faith story (testimony). Some may think that this is a strange story or maybe even unbelievable but listen to this and know that God gets all the glory. This testimony was written back in 2011. However, it is still true today and it's been 4 years now. So this is what I wrote back then... but I am still rejoicing about it today.

A few months ago... I was struggling financially and I wanted my situation to change. I had been in business for two years and I was only breaking even. Nothing of the abundance God had promised. It seemed like all my efforts were to no avail. Then I prayed in January...the Jabez prayer you know the enlarge my territory, increase me, no limits, you know the prayer. well I prayed and I felt God but things did not change.
February was more of the same. March came and I was desperate. I asked God to show me how to live in abundance. I wanted my finances to change. God started working on my unforgiveness. I want my finances to change, God started working on my commitment level to Him. I wanted my finances to change, God started asking for my devotion and started causing more ministry opportunities. My finances were still the same. Now dont get me wrong, I had the bare minimum, a house to live in, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, a car to drive, and food to eat. Men were giving into my bosom but I wanted the good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

So in April, more of the same I prayed for more finances God worked on me inside and out. May came and now I am frustrated, "God I am praying more, fasting and reading Your Word. I am teaching more studies and doing all that You asked me to do. When will you enlarge my territory, when will you grow my business?" God started giving me coaching program ideas and started giving me vision for my company. I worte the vision and when I looked at it I still said " Huh? God but how is this going to come about with no money, or at least more than I have." God blessed me with a speaking engagement at a women's conference where he spoke to me directly. This woman I had never seen before told me exactly what my life was and will be. I breathed a sign of relief. However, things did not change actually they got worse.

Now we are in June, My Bishop preached a sermon on Faith. He kept saying what's in your hand?" So I went home that Sunday afternoon and asked God to show me what was in my hand. He began to show me all the potential that was in my reach and how to use it. The answer came so quickly I filled up two journal books with all the Lord was showing me and teaching me. I started to see there were tips, techniques and strategies in what the Lord had given me. I started working the plan, if you will, three weeks later my situation went from breaking even to overflow. I had made some authentic connections, my ministry starting flowing and my family, let just say total turn around. It seemed every area of my life was moving in the right direction and it was all coming together...Yes even my business. Today I am awaiting a settlement from 1989... not waiting for it to settle it has settled and the check is in the mail. (I got the check too)

Listen, God has truly blessed every area of my life and now what I thought was impossible is a reality for me. I hope this blesses you.

P.S. I know someone reading this will say, oh that's good for you or yeah talk to me in a year, but let me say this... Until you are ready to stop waiting on God to move on your behalf and are really ready to go to work and be obedient to god and his plan for your life you will not experience a total turn around. This time next year you will be the same but I will not. I have learned that God has plans for my life and I am willing to live the way He wants me to live. So, don't feel sorry for yourself...get with God and ask Him...What Do I have in my hand? He will show you if you don't know and not only will He show you like He showed me, He will instruct you how to use it. The Principles He uncovered in my life was not just for me. Know this, God is a good God and no respecter of persons. What He will do for me He will do for you. Trust and believe.

So now reading this, I realize that I am still in the overflow. I have a coaching business, a publishing House, two non-profits and have started walking in my destiny. Do things get tight? Yes, but reading this testimony, I am encouraged that the abundance is still coming and God gets the glory for this story and all the stories to come.  So my life has been changed and I can't go back!


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Meet Pastor Linda Hillman

Many of you have read my blogs and maybe have asked yourself... Who is this lady? Well, Let me take the time to introduce myself to some, to present myself to others and to remind yet more of you that I am just a Woman saved by grace. There is nothing special about me but my Love for the Lord and his people. Ministry is truly my life. I pray that this helps you see a part of me that will help you make it through your struggles. I am an open book so that deliverance can be administered.

So here it goes!

Well, I have had my share of ups and downs. My childhood was not perfect and I have since learned that it was not as bad as I thought it to be during my childhood. There were a few things worst than what occurred to me. I grew up in church, but that did not stop the Devil from tempting me with the "Life". At an early age, I was involved in gang violence and if it had not been for a praying mother, I would have been lost to that life. BUT God's purpose for my life was not my own. I thank God I never really got involved in the drug scene and drinking just was not in the cards for me. However, lustful desires would cause this church girl to get involved in something just as addictive as drugs and alcohol. The desire to please my flesh and that I did in every way possible. Let's just say, anything you heard about Church girls being bad, well I might have written the book on it.

At the age of 14, I was tired of running from God and my calling and went to a Catholic Church and asked God to show me what He was really like. I needed to know Him for myself. I was no longer satisfied with the stories in the Bible or the testimonies I had heard from others. I wanted to know God as my Personal Savior. Two weeks later, while visiting some friends in Loomis, CA. I was in a back-slidden state of mind and during a Sunday night worship service, with the power of God all over me, refused to praise God unless I was going to praise Him for real. I did not want to be a hypocrite. That night, I had a dream and I saw Christ clearly. His face was so close to my face that I could have touched Him and He said, "Linda, I died for you, I love you. I have called you to prophesy, preach and teach My word." Those words, as simple as they were, revealed so much to me. God knew MY name and he knew where I was. If God, who created the universe and all that we know to be real, could pay me a visit, then I would acknowledge Him. 

The next day, I completely started a new. I went back to the things I knew as a child. I started getting more involved in our Youth Department, I got on the Bible quizzing team, I studied His word and began to let the hatred and malice go. The word began to wash over me. It was more than words to memorize, it was my lifeline. I began to love the woman I was to become. I have never looked back again. I am not perfect, but I know that I am truly free, forgiven and healed of all past sins. I have learned that releasing things to God allows you to walk out your destiny in Him.

God blessed me to start a ministry called W.H.O.L.E. (Women Healed Of Life's Experience) Ministries in 2005. This ministry is for women who have experienced life in a damaging way and feel that they are broken. They feel no one can love them. It is a ministry for them to become W.H.O.L.E. again. I focused on people in the community and those not of the household of faith. I understand that believers had a balm in Gilead but the unbeliever didn't know nor did they understand God's love for them. They needed someone to show them the way.

Later in 2009, I started a subdivision of W.H.O.L.E. Ministries called Living above Hurt Ministries, this subdivision was offered only to the Body of Christ. After hearing horrific stories of people that had been hurt in the Church and spiritually, emotionally, verbally, mentally abused by other saints. I knew that W.H.O.L.E. Ministries was not the place for them and created Living Above Hurt to be a safe haven for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

My passion in life is to be pleasing only to God. Sometimes that means that those around me cannot understand why I do certain things. I am now aware, this happened to Jesus and when people talk about me, I know that I am walking in His footsteps. Right now I am not tired, I am running this race stronger than I have ever ran. I see and feel the passion when I teach, preach and prophesy God's word to the unbeliever and the saint alike.

My favorite saying is God show yourself mighty in this place. I have yet to see him fail when the request is made.


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime 

Activate Grace

Many Christians when asked about Grace will quote that grace is the unmerited favor of God. They would be right. However, God's grace is more than just unmerited favor. Let's begin here:

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Cor 12:9 (NIV)

This is a very common scripture we use ( or i should say I use) when things seem to be beyond my power. when things seem to be going wrong or I can't get over something. You know the trials that come to make us strong. But what if my brothers and sisters God wanted more for us. What if there is more to this grace that we have not uncovered. Well about 2% of the Christian world have. They understand that grace is God's power for us to live above what we could ever hope, dream or imagine. Let's go to another scripture help you see what I mean.

"Because of all that the Son is, we have been given one blessing after another." John 1:16 (CEV)

Now this says because we are connected to the Son, we get the unmerited favor. This unmerited favor is blessing one after another. Now that sounds good but how does that help me to live and make it through this world. In a world where trouble comes without warning and it shows no prejudice? I need more than unmerited favor... I mean don't get me wrong the blessings are wonderful and come just in the nick of time. But as John Bever states we are to live extraordinary lives. Not just blessed lives. So, we need more than unmerited favor from God, We need the power to live right, and power to do right, power to believe the unimaginable. we need to be empowered by God to live our purpose and destiny. So now let's go to second base.

All through the book of acts we read that the disciples did miracles, signs and wonders...even though they were being persecuted. Don't take my word for it read Acts 5:13, Acts 10:26, Acts 14:11-15, Acts 17:6, and Acts 28:6. These were men and women, just like us, but they lived full of power just like Acts 1:8 said. We can live in that power too. For God is no respecter of persons, if He did it for Peter, James, John, Paul and Mary...He will do it for you and me too.

Read 2 Cor 12:9 again, it says:

"But he replied, "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am." (CEV)

So instead of thinking about this grace as unmerited favor, which it is, but it is more than that too. It's Charis (grace) It is the divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in our lives. It's a gift, favor, a benefit and gracious liberality. Grace is God's empowerment to us.

So what great thing are you trying to accomplish but are having great difficulties. It states when we are weak, God's grace, HIS power is sufficient for us. It is strong. It is able to give us what we need to live as we ought to. Read this:

"Who were chosen and foreknown by God the Father and consecrated (sanctified, made holy) by the Spirit to be obedient to Jesus Christ (the Messiah) and to be sprinkled with [His] blood: May grace (spiritual blessing) and peace be given you in increasing abundance [that spiritual peace to be [a]realized in and through Christ, [b]freedom from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts]. Praised (honored, blessed) be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)! By His boundless mercy we have been born again to an ever-living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, [Born anew] into an inheritance which is beyond the reach of change and decay [imperishable], unsullied and unfading, reserved in heaven for you, Who are being guarded (garrisoned) by God's power through [your] faith [till you fully inherit that [c]final] salvation that is ready to be revealed [for you] in the last time." 2 Peter 1:2-5 (AMP)

I don't know about you, but that scripture makes me what to shout, "Devil, you messed up now! you are messing with the wrong one." See as long as he can make us think we are to live this life by our own power we don't call upon the power that was given to us by Jesus. We continue to live beneath our means and experience a vapor of what God really has in store for us. I thank God for equipping us with Grace. Unmerited favor YES! but he has given us the power to do all the things he has called us to do. He gave it to us when we said yes to Him. He did not leave us to fight the good fight on our own. Maybe we know this but are we living by it. Use the grace that God has given you not just for the blessings but for the abundant power to live the life you were meant to live. I end with this scripture:

"And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through followers of Jesus like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!" Ephesians 3:8-10 (MSG)

So what are you giving the angels to talk about?


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklinda@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Rise Up

In this time of recession, foreclosures, job terminations, and etc. People are hurting and they are looking for some hope. they need to hear someone say, it's going to be okay. Yes, some say the recession is just in the minds of those that buy into it. Some say that they were never affected by the recession. In my time of reflection, I have had many things occur to me and affect me over the past 3, going on four, years. So I went to God in prayer. I asked him to show me where to find the strength I need to do all that he has placed in me.

The first thing He showed me was my position. This is very important because without knowing exactly where I am in life I can miss out on some great things. So he had to show me that I am still in his hands. He sees and knows me. I am in the Will of God doing what I am suppose to be doing. In the good times, bad times, and the indifferent times, I must move forward. Then He backed it up with scripture.

Acts 3:1-8

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk. ” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

Now you may say how did this back up what you said the Lord showed you? Well, I am glad you asked me that. Listen to this. Peter and John were on their way to the temple at the hour of prayer. They had sat at the feet of Jesus literally and nod now they were going to sit at His feet metaphorically. At the feet of Jesus you can find strength for your weary soul, forgiveness for your sin stained soul, and healing from hurts, habits and hangups. Most importantly, you can find direction. So Peter and John were in the right place. They were coming to meet their Master. They were coming to hear a word from the Lord. That was me too. I needed strength, healing and forgiveness. I needed to hear from God.

Also, the lame man was in the right place at the right time. He had friends that brought him daily to the gate of the temple to beg for alms. To ask for help of those entering and exiting the temple. Where can we go but to the House of Faith to get what we need. We must open our mouths to ask. we cant keep hiding behind the facade of I doing okay. Stop settling for the mediocre and get exactly what god intended you to have.

The next thing God showed me was that money does answer all things but the TRUE answer is only found in Him. When Peter said Silver and Gold have I not but such as I have I give to you. He was saying that your need does not require a temporary fix. It needs to be fixed completely. Telling the man to look upon us, he was telling the man to look up and see the real source that would supply the need. Not man, mot money, not a new job but God. Don't see me as your daughter, sister, mother, brother or friend but see the God in me. Isn't Paul said it's not I but the Christ that lives inside of me. I look to people to answer my need but I need to look to God.

He was in the right place to receive the best solution for his need. He weakness exposed, the real strength could be unleashed. the power that lay in Peter and John. the power that lays in each of us. Don't be afraid to fix your eyes on a problem and speak hope to that issue.

I love that Peter and John were on their way to prayer meaning that may have need god to do something for them but they still took the time to speak life. to open their mouth. to be used of God. So what do you have to give?


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklinda@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Philippines Chronicles: Lessons To Be Learned! Part 6

So I finally got home. My sister gets ready for church and leaves the house. In my room, I fall on my knees and cry. I ask god what to do. remember I said 25% of me was still saying trust God. Now that 25% was crying out to the only one that could fix this. I needed to know what to do and why I could not let it go, even though, my head can't telling me to.  Still I heard nothing from God.  You know the saying "The heavens were quiet." yep they were quiet. Nothing.

After I cried a good cry and had a pity party. I needed to talk to someone that would tell it to me straight. My mind was going a mile a minute on how stupid I was and what people would say about me doing something so foolish. I didn't want to talk to anyone that would make me feel worse. So I called a friend I have known most of my life. I called her also because I knew her to be an on point prophet and would tell me what I did not want to hear if that is what God was saying.  When she picked up the phone, I told her what had happened and asked if God had impressed anything on her to tell me. 

She begins to speak and while you were talking nothing came to me. I heart sank. I wondered why god would not speak. I wanted him to say where I had missed it. Why this had happened. What the lesson was something. Then she began to pray and when she finished, she simply said, "Check the motives of my heart." I was quiet as I reflected on my motives. I started to explain to her why I was going on the trip. I also explained that the initial trip was not for me to go and to preach, I was going to support Rein. She said that was all God gave her and she could not add to it or take from it. After getting off the phone with her, I felt a little better but still pondered what she had said. 

I knew I was emotionally spent so I decided to go to bed. Now anyone that knows me, knows that I don't go to bed until about 2 or 3 in the am. So going to bed at 7pm was unheard of. I took two Advil PMs to help me sleep and clear up the headache I felt coming on from all the crying I had done. 

The next morning, when I wake up. I remember the words check my motives and I kneel by my bed and ask God to reveal any wrong motives I had. God started bringing to my attentions grievances I had with others that I felt did not respond to the situation in a way that I would have liked. even though they were small to me and I had felt justified, I knew that god was not pleased so I asked for his forgiveness. Later in the day I asked each individual God brought to mind for forgiveness. The day before I had said that I would pay back all the money that had been donated to get the ticket since I was not going to go. The lady that had given the money said that was not necessary. I was grateful, but I had to apologize for God for that too because that was me trying to play God. 

The people that had sown into me God is going to bless them and the money had been spent on what the money was given for. I did not use it for anything other than that. In trying to give the money back, I was trying to save face. I was trying to fix it which means I was not letting God be God. 

So after praying, I looked at my luggage and was going to unpack but I couldn't do it. So I went to my computer to start my work day. I found myself on a travel site looking up airfare to Manilla. I saw that there was a flight for 609.00 on China Air. So I called the site to see if the price was still available. the man that I spoke with told me that the price was available, but I would have to book my flight 180 days ahead of departure. He said he would look for flights leaving late Friday (today) or On Saturday and get back to me. I gave him my number and hung up the phone. 

About 2 hours later, he called me with information on a flight that would cost $939 and would leave on Saturday at 2:20 PM. He told me he could hold the price for up to four hours. I told him that I will have to come up with the money. I hung up the phone and got on my knees. I needed God to show me how to get the money. that 25% that was telling me to trust God would have to increase to 100% because now it would take a miracle. after I prayed I lay there prostrate before the Lord listening.  I wish I could say that God spoke, but I heard nothing. 

I got up from the floor and lay on my bed. The tears began to fall and my doubt flooded me. While I was on my way home with Jessica, I had told Kelsi and Rein to pray for me because Satan had started to torment my mind. I knew it was his plot and plan to use this to get me to doubt myself and God. To begin to slip into a depression that I had not been in for more than 30 years. Now once again I was feeling that hopeless coming on. I could once again hear the thoughts that plagued me as a teenager. They were flooding my mind and screaming at me. The difference between now and then was as a teenager, I didn't know that it was Satan feeding me the thoughts of suicide. Now I not only knew it was Satan but I was agreeing with him.

I started thinking about all the sacrifices I had made to be in ministry, the people who had talked about me, laughed at me, lied on me, how I had to fight for everything that came my way. I thought about the double standards I had to deal with, how nothing I wanted mattered and now in my lowest moment God will not even take a moment to speak to me. Is that love? I force myself to stay laying on my bed because honestly I did not know what I would do. I was not thinking rationally nor was I able or willing to hear from God. After about an hour of laying there crying I saw a vision of Calvary. I heard a whisper say, that's how much I love you. Tears began to fall again. I knew at the moment all I could do is trust God. He was my only hope. Then I fell asleep.

More to come....



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

(CORRECTED REPOST) Philippines Chronicles: Lessons To be Learned! Part 4

Sorry, I thought I had written this blog when it first posted on May 8th but I realized on 9th that it posted along with today's post blank. So I am reposting 

So I was standing there. I felt like a fool and I wanted to cry, but there was something on the inside of me pushing me to hold on. I walked around until I found an outlet to plug my phone up, so it could charge. I had been trying to stay close to the ticketing counter so they would not have to look too hard for me and think that I had gone. Now I just wanted to sit quietly somewhere and see what would happen. So I found a plug where I could sit and I waited.

At this point either I would get on the plane or I would need a ride back home. My sister Jessica called me on Voxer, once my phone was turned back on and asked if I wanted her to stay where she was until we found out what would happen with the flight. I told her that was a good idea because I did not know how I would get to Stockton, should that be the case. 

I am not sure exactly when Kelsi got to the airport, but I don't think I had sat there more than 15 minutes. When she got there she was parked in front of the wrong airline so I told her which one I was at and told her I would meet her outside. I walked back to the ticketing counter because I wanted to see if anyone was still there and there was a chance that it was not too late to get on the plane. there were a few agents still there, but I could tell they were shutting down terminals and preparing to close shop. The Manager that had tried to help me was walking out the door so I knew the flight had either gone or was about to taxi down the runway. So I went to meet up with Kelsi.

I defeatedly loaded my things in Kelsi car and she drove me to where my sister was waiting for us. Before I got out of the car, Kelsi and I prayed. I heard nothing from God. I asked Kelsi if she got anything and she after a small hesitation said, "All I got was rest and God finishes what he starts." I was not sure what it meant, but I didn't want to process it at that moment nor did I want her to explain it more. 

I wanted to cry. Instead I got out the car, loaded up my sister's car and tried not to think. You see I am someone who will try to work things out and fix it. Now all I wanted to do was scream but I knew that would not help my situation. I kept thinking I don't do things like this and how did this happen not just once but twice.

I wanted to blame it on God, I wanted to blame it on my sister not driving faster or not leaving sooner. I wanted to blame myself for not checking when I got the unction to do so. I was angry. No one could have been more angry, disappointed or embarrassed than I was at the moment. I thought about all the money that had been spent on the tickets. I felt foolish. 

I did not know what to do, but there was a small feeling that said trust God.  I could feel faith draining like sand being pulled by the tide. Every way that God had made for me to go started coming to mind. Especially allowing me to get the ticket that I needed to chang my flight to Thursday. then I thought about how I had left my passport again. It was not the first time this was the second time. Who does that!!! Not me! Well at least up to this point I would have said not me. 

See what happens next.....



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Philippines Chronicles: When God Speaks! Part 7

So now it's is April 22, 2015 and I have to admit I was not excited to still be in the USA nor was I looking forward to making this call to Priceline. So I slept another hour. When I woke up I saw that I had messages from Rein on voxer, Rein's mom, and Stephanie. I did not have anything to report yet so I ignored them all and fixed me something to eat. I did not want to talk to anyone until I knew what God would say. 

I don't know about you, but I get weird wen people try to encourage me but all the while make me feel worse. I just did not want to hear the cliches. I just wanted to know what God would say. After breakfast, I checked a few emails, and then I said okay Linda... time to stop stalling. Call Priceline. The moment of truth was here.

I dialed the number and got another representative.I began to explain my situation and she saw all the notes that had been made the day before. She asked me a few questions, put me on hold and came back with the authorization from China Southern to get on the Thursday flight. I smiled. She hen figured out what it would cost me to get on the flight with all the change fees and would you know it. It was $10.00 cheaper than the originally quoted price. My mouth dropped. Did God just do it again? Yes, he did. She informed that I would get a confirmation email in 2-4 hours.

Stephanie had put a fleece before God the night before and God had answered. So now I got busy, cleaning, doing laundry and tidied my room. And because I knew that my luggage could only be 40 lbs and my carry on could only be 12lbs. I made sure that they were and put then at the front door. Along with my purse like carry on which had my PASSPORT in the purse like pouch. I would not forget it this time.

When I got the email, I called Priceline just to confirm everything was done right. I did not want to take any chances. When I got off the phone, I did a two-step to the Lord. It was done. Once again, I would be on my way to the Philippines. Pastor Cailing had been messaging me and asking where I was. I told him what happened but that I would be leaving the next day so I would see them when I got there. He said the intercessors would be praying for me and safe travels. 

After everything was done and confirmed. I got busy working again on my publishing projects. Now as I pondered on the events that led up to this. I know now that God was teaching me to trust him. As I stated before I would rather worry than trust, anyone including god. So I believe this was showing me that God was in control and he would work it for the good. 

I am so quick to jump to being the victim in a situation. I am quick to believe that God would do harm than good. that somehow I don't deserve good things to happen to me. That the miracles, I hear about God doing the impossible, somehow are not meant for me. I know that is the immediate lesson but why I had to go through the missing of the flight. the truth is at this point I don't care all I know is I'm one more step closer to completely trusting God, first. So the journey continues.

Stop by tomorrow to read what happened on April 23rd. 



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Philippines Chronicles: When God Speaks! Part 2

So on Tuesday I head to the Pharmacy to pick up my prescription. When I get there, I am told that the prescription is ready. SO I hand them my insurance card so it can be run through my insurance. The pharmacy tech comes back and says that my insurance is no longer accepted through Walgreens. I should try Rite-Aid or CVS. If I got it through them I would have to pay 79.00 even with my prescription discount card.

She explains I would need to have the other pharmacy of my choosing to request that they fax over my prescription. So I call CVS, because that is where my sister works and I knew she would let me know if they were telling me the truth. 

CVS sends the request and the Man assures me that in a few hours my prescription should be ready. So I call back in about 3 hours and CVS has not received the prescription yet. So I call Walgreen's. They tell me it was faxed over but they will fax it again. So I go on with my day and decide to check with my sister to see how much it would cost. So I text her. She text me back and says through CVS it would be 97.00. I was like man, I am so glad I have insurance that's more than Walgreen's.

On Wednesday, I call CVS and my prescription is ready so I go to pick it up while I'm out running errands. When I get there, I give them my insurance card and they said it will take about 15 minutes to rerun my prescription through my insurance to get the price if any. I walk around CVS window shopping until I hear my name called over the loudspeaker. I return to the pharmacy.

Now here's where it get interesting. I am told that my insurance WILL not cover it. So the cost is 97.00 or they can ask my doctor to prescribe a different prescription that may be accepted by my insurance. feeling a bit nervous now. I say okay they tell me they will call me when it's ready.

So, I leave. and I wait. and I wait. and I wait. Now I call back it's been almost a week since I took it to CVS and I have not heard from them. They tell me my doctor has not responded. So I decide to give it another day.

Now it's two days later, and I have just a few more days before I will be leaving. CVS still has not heard back from my doctor. So I go to my doctor's office to get them to respond. I am told that Malaria pills only have one dose and the prescription that was given was the most commonly used one.

So I ask the ladies and the people of  God to pray. I need these pills and I have only a week to get them. I just did not have the 97.00 to spend and I really needed them to come down.

CVS and I go back and forth for the next week. Then I post on FB, I need God to intervene once again for me. One of my friends say she is going to western union me some money. So my prayer is God let me get it for the original price, so the money she sent me will be enough. 

I go Friday afternoon to pick up the prescription. The Pharm Tech gets my information and says that will be a total of 116.00, I hand her my discount card, because I remember that Walgreens said that even with my discount card it was 79.00. She says it does take some off but with the discount card it would still be 100.00. I only have 80.00. I was about to say I'll have to come back, when the Pharm Tech says wait a minute let me ask the Pharmacist something.

She comes back in about 5 minutes and says, "Your cost is 42.00!" She used a different discount card that they have at CVS. Not only that, but they did not have the generic brand that my doctor asked for so they gave me the name brand drug. I almost cried on the spot.

So now you can see how God moved on my behalf, in miraculous ways. Like I said before this is just one of many stories. I know that some of you ready this blog were the ones praying for me so I wanted to share.

So now April 21st was here and it was the morning of the day we would fly to the Philippines. I got up excited, took my shower and dressed comfortablely. it was going to take us  two days to get there with an overnight layover in China. I ran some last minute errands and then met up with Rein and her Mom at their house.

Hope you are following along on this journey, more to come.


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 

Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Phillippines Chronicles: When God Speaks! Part 1

So on April 21, 2015, I was on my way to SFO to go on a missions trip to the Philippines with my Sister and Friend Evangelist Rein Johnson. the flight has had been booked since late February early March. When I tell you God opened doors that I could not even imagine so I could get the money to go...I mean it. Had God not intervened on my behalf, I would have still been working on raising the money.

Listen, Not only did God supply the money for the plane ticket there and back, He made a way fo the Hotel to be covered, and when I found out that I needed a Visa for China because we had an extended layover, God supplied the money for that too. So needless to say this Chicka was on cloud nine and rising. I was thankful to everyone that sowed a seed or donated so that I could get the immunizations, bug spray, and other items needed.

Let me just tell the story about the Malaria pills because this is just a glimpse of what God was doing on my behalf. I went to my doctor to get a physical. I had been sick with bronchitis and I just want him to tell me I was cleared to travel this was about two and half  weeks before we were expected to leave. My doctor said all was well and prescribed me a cough medicine to help with my lingering cough. He also gave me some antibiotics to clear up any viral infection. I told him about my trip to the Philippines and he told me that I needed to get the immunizations, even though they were recommended, I should because I was getting over bronchitis and needed all the immune boost I could get. So that day I went to public health and got my Typhoid shot. but the Malaria immunization was not a shot but pills and my doctor should have prescribed them. So I called my doctor to see if I could get the prescription ans was told I needed to drop by so the doctor could see me before he prescribed them. So the next day i drove out there and my doctor prescribed them. this was on a Friday.

So, about four hours later I was running errands so I went to Walgreen's to see if my prescription was ready and was told that the prescription would be ready on Monday. I asked what the cost would be and they told me it would cost 79.00. I took a deep breath. It dawned on me later that Walgreen's did not have my insurance on file and evangelist rein said that her prescription for the Malaria Pills was free.  So I said, "Lord let it be for me too."

On Monday, I get a call that my prescription is ready. So I put it on my calendar to go Tuesday to pick up.

Stay tuned for more of this story tomorrow.

You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now

Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Lost And Searching For Answers: Love and Faith is the key!

I want to talk to you today about a subject that touches every one of us, young, old, male or female...LOSS.

Sometimes we are faced with things we think we just cant handle; the death of a beloved father, mother, sister, brother, child, spouse etc... but what happens when the loss we feel is the loss of self? What happens when we lose who we are? Whether it is beaten out of us, snatched from us, or we give it away. How do we recover from this loss?

We may strive to find the reasons behind it, but when those reasons don't make sense or add up, we question God. We look up to the heavens and say, "God, how could You do this to me? How did You allow this to happen? Why do I have to suffer with so much pain in my life? How can You put so much on my plate? Why do I have to suffer at all? Why Me? What did I ever do to You to deserve this?" We might even go as far as becoming angry with God and blaming Him for the evil that has befallen us.

The real point is this... we don't operate on God's timetable nor do we have a true understanding of His ways and thoughts. We allow the fear of the unknown to cloud our judgment and even the most logical theories fly out of the window. We would rather think a loving God is punishing us, and that a God that gave up His own life so that we might live, somehow hates us. Even though His word is true and He speaks only of how much He loves us. 

In the world we live in, how could we even begin to understand His plans and purposes for our existence? So we look to other things to add value to us. Thus, we lose ourselves even more. OH, we say, we are trying to find our purpose because somewhere we have lost our worth. That tragedy, we survived, has stripped away our happiness, left us with no joy, scattered our peace. We are lost, broken and devalued.

My friend, let me tell you, this is where FAITH comes in and begins to play a huge role in our healing and restoration. Faith helps us to see His message in the darkness of our caves of despair. Faith beckons us to believe again, to hope again, to search for the truth of God's love for and toward us. Faith requires us to love through the pain of loss. Faith tells us that God's message has never changed. This loss is there to teach us not to take the ones we love for granted while they are with us. To love hard and deep. It is there to teach us that we should love ourselves enough to want better for our lives. We should love ourselves enough to search for the treasures God placed in us the moment we were conceived and not to let anyone speak over us what He has not already spoken.

Faith says even the mundane has purpose. Even the fleeting moments are to be cherished. The solitude that comes in those glimpses of hope, should be embraced. As I reflect on the pain we feel when we lose who we are in a hurricane of issues and strife, I am reminded what Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Faith breeds love. First, love God with your very being, Secondly, love yourself unconditionally, and then it spills over to mankind. It also reminds me that God is love; therefore there is no ill will in Him concerning you. He desires to see you prosper and walk in your expected end even if you never had a relationship with Christ. You cant be angry with a God that only wants the best for you. All He has is love to give.

He only requires us to love as fiercely, as bravely and as compassionately as we can and in that love, that human love, to allow faith to grow. Faith that allows us to forgive, and to continue to love unconditionally. As we find the peace of who we are once again, the pain of loss lessens and the joy of live emerges.

Today I challenge you to take a chance on FAITH and LOVE. Let your life begin again.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

(c) 2015 Living Above Hurt Ministries  

Pastorlindahillman@hotmail.com

Get Your Copy Now!

Through the scripture and the story of the woman with an issue of blood, Linda Hillman moves past the obvious, more common meaning of the text to a revelatory truth: GOD would not have us live unbalanced and incomplete lives. In her book WILL YOU BE MADE WHOLE, Linda reveals just how crucial balance is in every area of your life. Through scripture, practical principles and faith, Linda shows the reader how to get back on track when life derails. In Linda’s own words—“The one thing I have discovered in my life is that the pains I have had to endure were not to take me out of the game but to polish me for the end result.” Get your copy today and be made whole! 

Get your Copy now!

In today’s microwave society, we want everything in an instant. And we want it now. Between instant gratification and a sense of entitlement, we often forget that GOD is GOD and HIS will be done. We can’t lag behind HIM and we surely can’t jump ahead of HIM. Linda Hillman’s new book, IN THE MEANTIME, addresses this very subject—waiting upon GOD. 

Through vignettes of the Prophet Elijah’s life, Linda reveals GOD’s plan for waiting upon HIM. This concise but rich study provides insight into the character of GOD and how HE takes us through steps of preparation, motivation and confirmation in getting us through our seasons of waiting. The beauty and truth of Linda’s message is that you can have the same glorious breakthrough as Elijah had.

Stop Doubting God!

I think the biggest misconception in prayer is the confidence. You would think that an appropriate attitude for needy, often foolish, often backsliding Christians when they approach the throne would be abject humility. You would think that we would offer up our requests timidly, not daring to think that the Great One would think our little problems as worth his time. You would think that we would tiptoe around him, walking on eggshells of fear, murmuring our needs quickly, and then backing away toward the door.

Nonsense, says the Apostle James. You are God’s beloved child, a royal prince or princess of heaven, a royal priest of the heavenly temple. God wants you to believe in the importance of your requests and believe him when he says he eagerly receives information about the parts of your life in which you need help. “When he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does” (James 1:6-8).

Doubt comes from Satan. If he can plant doubts in your brain and lead you to suspect that God is laughing at you, has contempt for you, is ignoring you, or is blowing off your troubles, your prayer voice will be timid indeed and soon stop. But believe his Word! Claim your new identity! Speak up! No fear! No doubts! He smiles when he sees you approach.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

(c) 2014 Living Above Hurt Ministries 

No More Drama! We Dont know What's Real These Days!

A teacher had a poster on her classroom door that read, "Save the drama for your llama." This poster was absolutely necessary because she worked in a middle school! But the truth is drama is not only for middle schoolers; it can be a part of anyone's life at any age. 

In the world we live in today, drama can make you rich and famous. Don't believe me look at Real housewives of ??? (you fill in the blank). It is almost like reality TV has taken over the world and we reward people for a life full of drama. We condone their lifestyles because it's entertaining. We overlook the bad habits and rude behavior because it something to watch and makes us feel better about our own lives. "We say things like my life is not that bad." 
We laugh at the drama we see on TV and even in regular TV shows, more and more is about how much drama can I put into an hour. I mean even one of my favorite shows is Scandal. Why because we all love to see a scandal unfold before our eyes. Each week it something else that makes me say "Oh my, what will happen next?" Now there is nothing wrong with watching Scandal unless God tells you not to. For the sake of making my point, we are addicted to drama. the worst it is the more we seems to gravitate to it. 

Drama tears us and others apart. Paul says in Galatians 5:15-16, “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (NIV) Just before this in verse 14 Paul reminds them of Jesus’ teaching from the Old Testament that everything is summed up in loving God and loving others. In other words, our responsibility is to love God and others instead of causing drama by talking about each other and engaging in other sins of the flesh.

How do we stop the drama? The first thing is to walk in the Spirit. We are lead by God in the way He has uniquely made us to love Him and others. When we do this, God takes away our desire or "need" to create drama by filling it with meaningful, life-giving tasks.

Prayer:

Our Father, help us to see the meaningful purpose that you have given us. May we not be drawn in by dramatic situations that cover up what is truly going on in our hearts. Let us see who we truly are and find joy in the purpose that You have given us. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

You are Bound No More.