I did not grow up in the same house as my father. My biological father that is. However, he taught me some very important things even in his distance from me.
As many of us have, especially African American children, my mother and father were divorced before I could walk good. Now, to their defense... it was a shotgun wedding. I mean my mother was 17 going on 18 when she found out she was pregnant with me and my father was 18 going on 19. So needless to say, they got married and we became an instant family, I believe my mother was about 6 months pregnant walking down the aisle.
So now back to my father and what he taught me.
My father was not a rich man nor did he have a lot of material things to give, but I can say even in my darkest moments, My daddy loved me. even when I was unlovable and made it difficult for him to love me. He did. Wade Alfonso Hillman Sr. was the best daddy this girl could ever have. Let me tell you I made it hard on him to love me. I had heard so much about how terrible it was for my mother and the things she had suffered that I just really thought my father was a deadbeat dad. However, I only heard one side of the story.
When I finally got around to hearing his side, I was so sure it was a lie that I did not accept it. However, God used my Father's love for me to teach me about His love for me.
Like I said even when I made it extremely hard on my father. He never stopped trying to be my father. He never gave up on me and he never stop telling and showing m how much he loved me. His love won me over and we started having a better relationship and shortly after that he was gone. He had passed away. I regret the years that I would not accept his love for me.
I remember one day I was journaling about how much I missed my father and hearing him say I love you, when god spoke to me. "Why did you wait so long to receive his love?" I then heard my voice saying about God and his love... I just can't receive God's love after all that I have done. God showed me that the same issue I had with my biological father was the same issue I was having with my Spiritual Father. He loved me unconditionally. He never asked for anything in return, but I could tell when I had hurt him. However, it dd not stop him.
If my biological father could love me unconditionally until death tore us apart. Then why is it so hard for me to understand the love of God for me. Not only did God robe himself in flesh to have something in common with me but he gave up his life that I might live. When Christ tell me he loves me, it is easier for me to understand what that kind of love is because I understand now how much my earthly father loved me.
Even though my dad has been gone for years, He is still close to me because every once in a while I remember him saying I love you. It was not eloquent or poetry, but it was heartfelt. so even now I felt his love. but even more importantly because of his love, I can now understand my heavenly father's love toward me. I understand that even when I disappoint him, he will not give up on me.
So thank you Wade Alfonso Hillman for loving me. it's because of your love I know an everlasting love. RIP Daddy! Happy Father's day!
As many of us have, especially African American children, my mother and father were divorced before I could walk good. Now, to their defense... it was a shotgun wedding. I mean my mother was 17 going on 18 when she found out she was pregnant with me and my father was 18 going on 19. So needless to say, they got married and we became an instant family, I believe my mother was about 6 months pregnant walking down the aisle.
So now back to my father and what he taught me.
My father was not a rich man nor did he have a lot of material things to give, but I can say even in my darkest moments, My daddy loved me. even when I was unlovable and made it difficult for him to love me. He did. Wade Alfonso Hillman Sr. was the best daddy this girl could ever have. Let me tell you I made it hard on him to love me. I had heard so much about how terrible it was for my mother and the things she had suffered that I just really thought my father was a deadbeat dad. However, I only heard one side of the story.
When I finally got around to hearing his side, I was so sure it was a lie that I did not accept it. However, God used my Father's love for me to teach me about His love for me.
Like I said even when I made it extremely hard on my father. He never stopped trying to be my father. He never gave up on me and he never stop telling and showing m how much he loved me. His love won me over and we started having a better relationship and shortly after that he was gone. He had passed away. I regret the years that I would not accept his love for me.
I remember one day I was journaling about how much I missed my father and hearing him say I love you, when god spoke to me. "Why did you wait so long to receive his love?" I then heard my voice saying about God and his love... I just can't receive God's love after all that I have done. God showed me that the same issue I had with my biological father was the same issue I was having with my Spiritual Father. He loved me unconditionally. He never asked for anything in return, but I could tell when I had hurt him. However, it dd not stop him.
If my biological father could love me unconditionally until death tore us apart. Then why is it so hard for me to understand the love of God for me. Not only did God robe himself in flesh to have something in common with me but he gave up his life that I might live. When Christ tell me he loves me, it is easier for me to understand what that kind of love is because I understand now how much my earthly father loved me.
Even though my dad has been gone for years, He is still close to me because every once in a while I remember him saying I love you. It was not eloquent or poetry, but it was heartfelt. so even now I felt his love. but even more importantly because of his love, I can now understand my heavenly father's love toward me. I understand that even when I disappoint him, he will not give up on me.
So thank you Wade Alfonso Hillman for loving me. it's because of your love I know an everlasting love. RIP Daddy! Happy Father's day!
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