(Corrected Post) Oh How He Loves Me: A Father's Love

I did not grow up in the same house as my father. My biological father that is. However, he taught me some very important things even in his distance from me. 

As many of us have, especially African American children, my mother and father were divorced before I could walk good. Now, to their defense... it was a shotgun wedding. I mean my mother was 17 going on 18 when she found out she was pregnant with me and my father was 18 going on 19.  So needless to say, they got married and we became an instant family, I believe my mother was about 6 months pregnant walking down the aisle. 

So now back to my father and what he taught me. 

My father was not a rich man nor did he have a lot of material things to give, but I can say even in my darkest moments, My daddy loved me. even when I was unlovable and made it difficult for him to love me. He did. Wade Alfonso Hillman Sr. was the best daddy this girl could ever have. Let me tell you I made it hard on him to love me. I had heard so much about how terrible it was for my mother and the things she had suffered that I just really thought my father was a deadbeat dad. However, I only heard one side of the story.

When I finally got around to hearing his side, I was so sure it was a lie that I did not accept it. However, God used my Father's love for me to teach me about His love for me.

Like I said even when I made it extremely hard on my father. He never stopped trying to be my father. He never gave up on me and he never stop telling and showing m how much he loved me. His love won me over and we started having a better relationship and shortly after that he was gone. He had passed away. I regret the years that I would not accept his love for me.

I remember one day I was journaling about how much I missed my father and hearing him say I love you, when god spoke to me. "Why did you wait so long to receive his love?"  I then heard my voice saying about God and his love... I just can't receive God's love after all that I have done. God showed me that the same issue I had with my biological father was the same issue I was having with my Spiritual Father. He loved me unconditionally. He never asked for anything in return, but I could tell when I had hurt him. However, it dd not stop him.

If my biological father could love me unconditionally until death tore us apart. Then why is it so hard for me to understand the love of God for me. Not only did God robe himself in flesh to have something in common with me but he gave up his life that I might live. When Christ tell me he loves me, it is easier for me to understand what that kind of love is because I understand now how much my earthly father loved me.

Even though my dad has been gone for years, He is still close to me because every once in a while I remember him saying I love you. It was not eloquent or poetry, but it was heartfelt. so even now I felt his love. but even more importantly because of his love, I can now understand my heavenly father's love toward me. I understand that even when I disappoint him, he will not give up on me.

So thank you Wade Alfonso Hillman for loving me. it's because of your love I know an everlasting love.  RIP Daddy! Happy Father's day!

Philippine Chronicles: Part 3: The Conclusion of the Matter

OH WOW, I almost forgot. Before I went to sleep that Sunday morning, I scheduled a post for later that morning. It was a post of my thoughts and I told people about my blogs. Yes, the blogs that I am writing now. The blogs I have written and the ones to come. Well, one more after this one.  I knew I had to tell my truth, the whole truth and nothing but. I was thankful that I journaled, so I had an accurate account of what happened, as it happened. I knew I would share everything. I just did not know how. As I was strolling on FB looking at posts and catching up, I came across a post from one of my friends. It was a post on Stephanie D. Mckenzie's timeline. 

"Don't worry about what didn't go right. Just know that you haven't been left. You are not alone, and no matter how thigs look like this very moment, you ar destined for something greater. One moment WILL change your life!"

It was not my AHA moment, but t was the beginning of the lesson I would learn from all of this. My AHA moment was still to come. At this point, I can't say that I knew the lesson I was supposed to learn from this or even if there was a lesson for me to glean from. I knew I ws the only one that could endure this and endure I must. this post gave me something to think about.

I looked at the globe that I have on my desk and remembered all the places that God said I would travel to share the Gospel. I began to intercede for each country that came to mind. I began to proclaim deliverance and restoration over the regions. I claimed salvation for those in need, I prayed for covering for the Christians being persecuted for their faith. I prayed that God would do everything he Promised in the Phillippines crusade.

I prayed until I could not think of anything else to say. Again I repented for my failure to be prepared for Kingdom business and told God you give me another chance that I would not let him down again. There was such a peace that entered my home. For the first time in six days, I knew that I would be okay. That it all would work together. I accepted my situation and the shame of it all subsided. When it was time to share my testimony, I knew that I would be able to do it with my head held high.

In tomorrow's blog, I will share what the Lord taught me through this. I must admit that he is still speaking to me about this experience so I am sure there will be more but for now...tomorrow will be the last post regarding my Chronicles of the Phillippines. 

The Conclusion (FINALE) will happen tomorrow. See you then.



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Philippines Chronicles: Lessons To Be Learned! Part 8

As I rested, the thought occurred to me...there was no AHA moment! Normally when God teaches me a lesson about me. I get an AHA moment. An AHA moment that elevates me. that causes me to be delivered from the bondage that held me captive. But this lesson did not come with an AHA moment. It was a lesson for sure but now, I knew there was more to come. 

Remember I said when I got to the airport the second time I immediately knew where my passport was. Well when things like this occur in my life, I immediately know what the root cause was that opened the door to it. What I had just experienced was the symptom, but not the root. I was clear on that. it would seem my insecurities were a root cause, but they were just the tip of the iceberg. I knew this was just the calm before the storm.

So then I asked God, what was I missing, had I missed His instructions. I started thinking about all the prayers that had been prayed from the time I was asked to go to the Philippines to now. Was there ever a "NO". Again when I ask questioned like this to God...He answers and I immediately know where, when and how. He may not tell me Why but I have the answer that I need. Nothing surfaced here. During this time, I had been in the presence of some BONAFIDE prophets and Prophetess. With all the prophetic people in my life including myself, no one said, "Linda god said no" however, there were words about what I would do while in the Philippines, about healing that would occur in my body as God used me to heal others, so where was the AHA moment? Nothing!

I asked more directly, "God where did I miss a step or where did you speak and I misinterpreted it or overrode it with my own agenda like I did when I got the unction to check for my passport? Even as I wrote in my journal about these events at the time nothing was becoming clear. No AHA moment.

Needless to say at 11AM, when Nick called again. He informs me that the ticket price has gone down a few dollars, it is now $928. He believed he could get it even cheaper. I told him I did not have that much, so he asked how much I did have. I told him I could get on my own about $300. Then Nick said something very interesting. He said if I can get you on standby on this flight, can you get at least $400. I told him that might be possible, but the flight leaves at 2:20 PM and I leave 1 1/2 away from SFO. He said we also fly out of Sacramento and there is a flight leaving Sac 9:55 PM. He also told me that the flight was not full so he might be able to get me on the flight. He would call me back after talking with his supervisor and the airline to let me know. I said okay. We hung up. I looked at my packed bags and my passport sticking out of my pouch. I thought to myself well at least this time I won't forget my passport.

A few hours later, I message Kelsi and Rein and tell them about the ticket and jokingly say, if I had the money, I would be on that flight to Manila right now. I chuckle to myself and I feel my eyes tearing up. I had made up my mind to give up. This was my way of letting go. So I decided to get back to working on my projects. I started going through emails and setting new deadlines. As I worked tears starting falling down my face. However, still no AHA moment.

I work on some projects some I have completed. I decide to get up get something to eat and I guess I should tell you. I have still been taking my Malaria pills because up to this point I had been still trying to go to the Philippines. But now after I eat. I decide not to take the pills any longer. I looked at the clock and it was about 2PM now. I sighed because I knew another flight headed to the Philippines would be taking off without me. Now three percent of me was hoping Nick was able to get me on the flight out of Sacramento but 97% was resigned to stay home. 

Since agreeing to Preach via Skype, I was waiting on Rein to give me the instruction on time and when. Based on the schedule that we had set prior to going to the Philippines I was to preach first but I knew they had to work some things out with the internet so I thought I would preach last or something. I knew it was approaching Sunday and since I hadn't heard I decided to catch up on some TV shows that I had recorded. Still not hearing anything from Rein, I began to think maybe they did not get it worked out. I turned off my computer and turned off my so I could put it on the charger. I continued watching my recorded programs and dosed off. 

Oh, there's more!!!!!! I will continue this in a few weeks..... Consider this the season finale... See you back with more in a few weeks... I promise you will hear all of it. 


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Get Your Copy Today! In The MeanTime: When Waiting Is Key!

GET YOUR COPY TODAY!

In today’s microwave society, we want everything in an instant.  And we want it now.  Between instant gratification and a sense of entitlement, we often forget that GOD is GOD and HIS will be done.  We can’t lag behind HIM and we surely can’t jump ahead of HIM.  Linda A. Hillman’s new book, IN THE MEANTIME, addresses this very subject—waiting upon GOD.

Through vignettes of the Prophet Elijah’s life, Linda reveals GOD’s plan for waiting upon HIM.  This concise but rich study provides insight into the character of GOD and how HE takes us through steps of preparation, motivation and confirmation in getting us through our seasons of waiting.  The beauty and truth of Linda’s message is that you can have the same glorious breakthrough as Elijah had.  Get copy of IN THE MEANTIME and get set-up for your own blessing!