Sunday, June 21, 2015

(Corrected Post) Philippine Chronicles: Part 4: The Conclusion of the Matter

So when it is all said and done. Did I ever get my AHA moment. Yes, I did. However, it did not come as quickly as I would have liked. It came slowly. there were some tings I had to let go of. Some thoughts that were working against me. The pain of doing something so out of character and stupid clouded my mind from seeing what God was really trying to show me.

When I finally settled in and really did some soul searching. It was made clear. As my Friend Kelsi, would say, Clarity is divine, and it is!

So what was my AHA moment.  Well it may not seem muc to you but it's the world to me and believe me these words have transformed my life.


DO NOT FEAR!
As i stated before, only a few knew about what was going on while it was going on. But the reason for it all was fear. I was afraid of what people would say. How they would see me. I was afraid of what the Filipinos would say becasue I was not like evangelist rein, or elder Steph. My ministry was different. I was afraid to be who god said I was and be comfortable in that knowledge. I know that I am anointed but when you see others operate sometime we feel less than.

That was my problem. I felt less than.  God wanted to use me supernaturally but that meant I had to be okay with how He uses me. NOw dont get me wrong, when I am under the amointing I dont care but I cant afford to be in my flesh at all. The kind of ministry that God has called me to... well I am called to it because it is my spiritual fingerprint. It is the mark that god will leave on the world because I exist to be the vessel that h will use. I got in my own way. 

In a conversation, Someone asked me was I mad that God changed his mind. God immediately spoke to me and said "I never changed my mind. You did, Because of fear!" I remember a few years ago I heard or read somewhere that god told us in the bible 356 time to efear not. wile this is not true there are 110+ verses in the KJV of the Bible that tell us to "fear not", "do not be afraid", "Do not fear" etc. so when you think about it, God knew we would struggle with fear and made sure that he mentioned it enough that we would have the knowledge and understanding to overcome fear.

Fear is truly false evidence appearing real. It's a lie from the enemy that we are less than, not good enough, too bad to be transformed...whatever he might be putting in your head to get you distracted off what God is trying to do in and through you. My fear halted me. It did not stop me. Why do I say that, because I have chosen that I am what god says that I am and I will do what god says I will do in the way he has anointed and appointed me to do it. I know not everyone will like my style or hear my testimony but there are those that are assigned to me. 

I accept my assignment and move forward.  NO MORE FEAR!



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
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