A Personal Testimony Part 3

While there in Loomis, I had a dream (vision): I was standing in a dark room and the face of Jesus appeared to me. Although I could not see any specific characteristics, I knew it was Jesus. His face was so close that I could have reached out and touched it while still feeling the backside of my own hand against my face. He spoke and said, “Linda, I love you. I died for you. I want you to prophesy, preach and teach My Word.” When I awoke, I remembered shaking and feeling the love, I needed. I shared my vision with no one. I was not ready, not with so much hate in my heart. Later I did, return to God and accepted the calling he placed on my life. For the most part it was a wonderful feeling helping others through their hurt and understanding God’s love. The only problem was I was not practicing what I was preaching. I was still angry with God for not protecting me as a child.

My life was just a vapor of what it could be until January of 2005. I was tired of crying myself to sleep. I wanted to experience the God I had read about. I wanted to be complete. I wanted to be the woman He created me to be. I went to him in prayer and I asked to experience Jesus like never before, I was not satisfied to go to church, preach, teach, sing and pretend anymore. I wanted to be delivered. That night I did not sleep. I prayed all night. God directed me to Mark 5:25-35. When I read this account of the woman with the issue of blood, I understand the process I needed to go through to be completely made whole. I began to study this passage, and God showed me clearly, what I needed to do. I brought a journal and began to write everything down, my emotions, my thoughts, my actions, and most importantly my revelations.

The process is simple, the steps are needed and I guarantee that if you step out on faith, you will touch the hem of his garment. First, just as the woman did, we must realize that we need a savior. In our world, we are taught as children to be strong and to take care of ourselves. People say things such as: “Don’t let any one push you around.” “If you don’t love yourself no one else will.” “If you don’t take it, someone else will.” All these are true to a certain extinct, in the whole process you have to be a bit selfish when it comes to becoming WHOLE, in that you will not let anyone stop your process, however YOU cannot do it God has to start and complete the process. In this case, He does care for YOU.

Now that you have realized your need for Christ to step on the scene, the next step is lay aside your pride. Pride is a huge problem when it comes to God. He does not like it one bit. He actually loathes it. It will cause some undue pain and drama if you cannot relinquish your pride and surrender to God. The Bible says that pride goes before a fall. Therefore, if you are not able to let your pride go, you will have to be broken. In the Christian world, there is a saying, “fall on the rock, which is Christ Jesus, and be broken before the rock falls on you and you are crushed.” I am not sure who first said this but I can say this: that person must have lived that to even give such vivid imagery. Who said we could not learn from the mistakes of others. There is not a lot to say here. Let go of pride and let God begin the process.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman