21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 8)

A new beginning and my flesh is not ready to die. It is fighting to stay alive and keep my mindset as it was before I started this journey. It has thoughts of its own about my journey. None of which are good and uplifting. However, I am determined to do what God says, how he says it and when he says it. 

After my devotion today, I just felt beat up. Not by God, not even by my desire to be obedient to Him. It was the battle raging in the pits of the core of who I am and the purpose of what I am here to do. My flesh wants it one way, my spirit another. I had to speak to myself today and say: 'Hang on girl, it will get better. God's got your back and He is in control.' Then I went right out and blew it. Not just blew it but blasted it out of the water. So, I felt terrible. What did I do, God told me to give my last dollar to a homeless man. I took one look at the man and said no, this is my money and if I give it to him he will use it to buy drug and or acohol. Yes, I know I am not the only one that thinks that way. however, if it it was true, i knew God had told me to do it. So I was in blantant rebellion to God. So yes, when I walked away from him, I began to feel Godly sorrow. 

I asked God to forgive me but i did not turn to correct it. Instead I gave in to the struggle within me. When I got home God remeinded of a post I read a few years ago and it spoke so much to me that I copied it and saved it as a word document on my computer. I opened it up and read it. Immediately, I knew what I needed to do. I left my house went back to the corner where the man had been sitting and gave him the dollar. I wish I could say that I felt better after that or that God made something amzing happen in return. What I can say is God reminded me delay obedience is still disobedience. I still got a ways to go!

Here is the Poem that I read from Pastor G. Murray:

The Struggle Within

Lord, I'm struggling.My spirit and my flesh are at war.My mind is split.I want to do what is right.But what I want to do, is what I don't always do.And what I don't want to do, I sometimes find myself doing.HELP ME LORD!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes, I think it.Sometimes, I say it.Sometimes, I do it.I need you Lord.

I'm struggling.I'm sitting on this pew, struggling.I'm sitting on this pulpit, struggling.CHURCH as usual is not helping me.I need someone that I can be my true self with.I need someone to pray with me.I need your strength.I need to talk about it.

I don't look like what I go through.I'm tired of looking religious...when I'm so torn inside.

There is a storm raging within me.The waters are surrounding me.The clouds are hanging over me.I'm sitting here trying to look holy, but the truth is Lord...I'm struggling.Everyday, I have to war against myself. It's ME against ME!

Lord you can bring the discipline, the word, the parameters that I am so desperately in need of.I thank you for your Word...it is a light for my path, and a lamp for my feet.I praise you for your love and kindness.There is a struggle going on in my mind Lord...There is a storm in my heart....And I know you are going to bring something out of my struggle.I know that it's going to work together for my good...

I need a Physician...

Bring peace to my spirit Lord...Calm to my fears.Speak to me on the deepest level of my existence.Lead me and Guide me.

I'm going to stay on this altar of sacrifice until...I am not going to give up.I will never give in...That's why I'm struggling.

I plan to fight the good fight.I plan to keep the faith.I plan to finish my course.

The Enemy is bigger than I.He wants to steal me, and kill me, and ulitmately destroy me.But I will never give up.You are bigger than my struggle.Your grace is sufficient.

I'm struggling [and] in the name of the Living God.I will be victorious.I am more than a conqueror.Jesus is My Help!

Written By Pastor G. Gregg Murray (c)

Thanks for letting God use you Pastor Murray. I will never give up because God is bigger than my struggle. :)

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

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Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 7)

"But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." 1 Samuel 15:22

Wow, I quote this saying a lot, "To obey is better than sacrifice." However, I never really took into consideration that it is not a period at the end of this statement but a comma. Comma meaning more to come. Something else is coming that is of equal importance. So let's take a look at it. "To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." To heed...to hear... to pay attention, close attention to. To esteem. So, what I am learning in this is that hearing God's voice is just as important as the obedience. Obeying God's instructions is the best way to have success. Your obedience let's God know that you have HEARD him. Catch this!

Sometimes, we are like King Saul, we do things our way because we are trying to help God out. We think it should be done slightly different or our intentions are to do more than what's intended. I agree if God does not give specific instructions: (ie: take two steps, turn right and spin five times) then you may have more liberty to make those decisions, but as we see with King Saul, he was given specific instructions. In this case, he was told to destroy everything and save nothing. Doesn't get more specific than that. My lesson here is when you hear the voice of God speaking to you specifically about taking action or not, then obey just as it is given.

This is an area, that I struggle with. I am learning through this process that letting God be God in every situation is the only way to go. He truly knows what He is doing without my help. This seems simple but let me ask you this... Have you ever overstepped God?

Father, help me to be obedient and truly hear your voice. Let me step out of the way long enough to truly be pleasing in your sight. Amen.

The journey continues....


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 6)

"About to Launch"

So today I read Jeremiah 29:11-14:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosperyou and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 

 After reading this, I heard the words about to launch! At first, I was like God what are You saying about this? I don't see how this scripture goes with what You are saying to me.

Then He reminded me of a dream I had a few weeks ago. In this dream, I was in prison but I knew it was not a real prison. However, I remember very clearly, I was there and my clothes were tattered and torn. They were dirty and my hair was uncombed. Then Suddenly, it was almost like a lightning flash, I was set free and had on new garments and was well put together. I remember asking myself what it meant. I did not think anything of the dream until now. Now I knew that that dream had something to do with Jeremiah 29.

So I went and read the whole chapter. Then I realized that this chapter was speaking to the children of Isreal just before they were going to be captured by the Babylonians. They had disobeyed God and walked away from what they knew to be right. They had displeased God with their constant idol worship. He had warned them thought eh prophet Jeremiah but they would not take heed. So he allowed the Babylonians to come in and capture them.

However, as he is telling them what will occur, he also tells them how long they will be punished. He then reminds them that he made a promise to them and he will uphold his promise. So even though they are being punished for disobedience, that did not deter his promise. He did not change his mind.

Now thinking about my dream. Right now I am in a prison. Many things are going wrong in my life and my situation seems glib. However, just like God told the Israelites that they would come out of the situation and receive the promise, and be returned to their promised land, he was telling me... he has not forgotten his promise to me and everything that God said I would accomplish in this life will be accomplished. This is not my end. God has an expected end for me and that is what is about to launch.

The path that leads to his plans for me and the expected end he has for me. I know that if I seek his face and stay in right standing with him... I shall see my promised land in this life.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

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Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 5)

The great thing about this 21 days of concentrated obedience is God is showing me, how much He loves and cares for me. How much He wants me to be more and more like Him. It is also showing me how far I have to go to be want He created me to be. I am finding that I am willing to stay on course and see the final goal. It is not easy. No one likes to be told that they have character flaws or that what they think is OK, is absolutely wrong.

This journey has been a rude awakening for me. However, it is not something I did not know or a huge revelation but it is something that finally sinking into my head. Obedience is more than just a whim. Obedience is better than sacrifice. I need to be like Nike and "Just Do It" No ifs, ands or buts.

In my quiet time today, I reflected on this scripture 2 Timothy 4:3

"For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."

So what is the real lesson in all this, I cant say that after five days I know what the Lord will teach me through this process. However, I can say that He is removing the brass. He is pulling out all stops. He is preparing me to be His good and faithful servant. What I do know is that I want to pass the test at the end, so I am taking notes. I am listening to what He is saying intently. This means that through those that are being placed in my path, whether they say good, bad or indifferent things, I am taking it all into consideration. I am learning to hear His voice through the loud noises. I am becoming more clear and direct with his instructions.

I thank God for those that are willing to speak the truth, even when it is not popular. Those that are willing to sacrifice for the Kingdom of God and not worry about what the masses think. Instead of bringing those around me that say only what I want to hear, I want to gravitate to those that will speak the truth in love. I want to be a vessel of honor and not dishonor. I want those that will see my flaws as areas of growth and pray me through the process. I want those who love me enough to say "Thus saith the Lord". No regrets, no holding back, no shame. Listen, I may get pushed out of shape a bit, I may even get a bit angry but in the end, If God said it, I believe it and that settles it. If I need to get right then so be it. If I need to continue on the path I am on then so be it. If things are not going to be as I thought, hoped, or dreamed...it's okay as long as God gets all the glory for this life.When it's all said and done, I want to hear Him say, Well done, thy good and faithful servant. I want Him to say, "You did everything I asked you to do when I asked you to do it."

The Bible says, 

"Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. They answered him, We be Abraham's seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free? Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." John 8:31-36

The truth will make you free and the truth only comes from the God. So let it wash over you. Be free to hear what the Spirit is saying. Then you too can say:

He that the Son has set free is free indeed
No more chains of slavery
Truth has triumphed in liberty
He that the Son has set free is free indeed.

And the journey continues...


You are Bound No More. 


Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

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Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 4)

As we journey along life and we see what God is doing among us in this place we call earth, sometimes, we need to be reminded who we are and to whom we belong. 

Romans 12:1-2

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

 What does this mean to you? Well, to me...God is dealing with me about being selfish. Stop complaining about what's wrong with this or that. Stop asking God why don't I get this or that. Stop wondering when my blessing will come. Stop interfering with those around me from getting their blessing because I am to busy worrying about me. I must be a living sacrifice HOLY and ACCEPTABLE which is my reasonable, the least I can do, service to God himself.

The question poised to me was "Linda, you keep asking Me to applaud you for your daily sacrifices and your reasonable service but when are you going to understand that is what you are supposed to do?" 

It is sort of like a man being applauded for taking care of his children, the ones he fathered. It is like you getting a job performance evaluation of "meets" and feeling you have done an "exceeds" performance. I remember as a young lady with my first job, a boss told me that he does not give awards for coming to work every day (perfect attendance), that is the least you can do. I give you a paycheck every two weeks that should be award enough. I thought that was pretty harsh of him but I am understanding it now. Why do we want God to reward us for our reasonable act of worship. Don't get me wrong He will celebrate our obedience to Him, it just may not be the way we think it should be. 

In this we must transform our thinking to His thinking. We must allow the same mind in Christ to be in us. We, well I, have to start asking God to renew my mind each day. Ask Him what thoughts I should have today, What things I should do today, what things I should say? When something happens in the day, I should not jump to my own conclusions but ask what do you think about this Father? More than WWJD (What Would Jeus Do), but WWJT (What Would Jesus Think). 

As I begin to go through this process, I am learning more and more that it's not about me. I am learning that as I think more like Christ I will understand more what His will is for me. His will is good, perfect and acceptable, meaning I become more pleasing to God. So just obeying the simple task of being a living sacrifice, transforming by the renewing of my mind and and knowing God's good, perfect and acceptable will, I am meeting his expectations and well on my way to exceeding them. Nice!

I Corinthians 3:16-17

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple."

 I Corinthians 6:19-20

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Last thought, all this makes me think about how well I am taking care of the temple that I am for Christ. Am I getting enough sleep? Am I operating as I should be? Do I understand that God is control of this vessel? Do I want him living in a sloppy mess? I have to make it a proirity to take better care of this temple God has blessed me with. I must love this temple just as God loves it. 

So, how does all this fit together, well just that. Doing what's right for my temple and being obedient to the signals of my body, making the necessary changes and transforming my mind to think differently about my health, wealth and emotional being is pleasing to God.

The journey continues...




You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

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Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 3)

Today was a very good day. I almost slept through prayer but god just in the nick of time, woke me up. It is amazing to me that even when you think that God does not hear the simplest prayer that he shows you that he hears them all.

I stand before a mirror in the spirit and it reveals ME to me. the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. 

Today, God speaks it's not about me. It's about His kingdom. My passion should be His passion. I should not worry about what people think about me or what they may or may not say about me. The real question is...Am I pointing them to Christ? 

So, today I read Philippians 3:12-16- 

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."

As I meditated on this scripture, it became so clear to me. I am not suppose to fight people but fight in the spirit to attain that which Christ has already laid hold of for me. He has already set in motion the things that are to take place. Now it just me walking in that and understanding that it was already attained by Christ for me. The gifts and calling I have on my life is for His glory and His glory alone.

Pastor Trena, always ask, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" I would let my mind soar to heights, but I would collapse with the thought that it's only a question. But today, I believe God is saying the same to me. "Linda, what would you do if you knew you could not fail? Then what are you waiting for?"

I remember reading a book written by John Bevere, "Under Cover" and he talks about disobedience and lawlessness. Sometimes we think that disobedience is not all that bad but in the Bible disobedience is viewed as rebellion. When we start to understand what the Word says about rebellion, we understand that when we operate in rebellion, we are operating in witchcraft. We, as Christians, would never be found dabbling in witchcraft, would we? YES, when we do not obey God. We are in blatant rebellion no matter what our reasons are. It is witchcraft. It is lawlessness. It is sin.

Let's back up a bit, when we do not attain what Christ has already attained for us we are operating in disobedience...rebellion...witchcraft. So, my thoughts are God, forgive me for operating in rebellion among Your people. For not doing all of what You have written in Your word. How can I expect God to trust me with new revelation and purpose, when I cant get right the stuff He has already given to me.

Bishop Turner says, "delayed obedience is STILL disobedience"...rebellion...witchcraft. So let me lay hold of that which Christ has taken hold of for me. Let me do what is already required and get it right now. Let me repent for walking in rebellion. Let me understand that this journey was never meant to be easy, that is why Paul said "I press (strain) toward the mark of the high calling. Interesting he said the prize (goal) is IN CHRIST, this means I cannot attain it without getting to know Him (Christ) more. Without learning to be obedient to His word, I will not get to know Him and I will never attain that which He has already attain for me.

Father, I pray that You continue to help me know You. I want to know You more. I want to live, move and have my being in You. You are truly my everything. Forgive me now for my disobedience. I apologize for being selfish and concerned about me and not Your kingdom. I pray that from this day forward I will be more of what You have called me to be and understand that being in the center of Your will is more pleasant than walking in fear and disobedience. Even when I feel that I am unsure of where You are leading, let me walk with my hand in Your hand. Let me speak as You speak. Father let my words be pleasing in Your ear. Grant me my prayer this day. In Jesus Name. Amen

Let me leave you with the words of one of my favorite songs "Trust His Heart" by Babbie Mason

God is too wise to be mistake
God is too good to be unkind
When you don't understand
When you don't see his plan
When you cant trace his hand
Trust His heart.
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

The journey continues...

You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 2)

So, today was not easy at all. It actually was a harder day than yesterday. Then it hit me, my spirit is detoxing. My flesh is fighting this new mindset. My spirit had toxins in it that needed to be purged. So it's not so much that I am feeling bad. But that my spirit is being purged. So I can hear God clearly. The distractions are being made weaker, So I will continue this journey.

In walking in obedience, I have to be willing to let go of my thought process and my ways of doing things. My ideas, thoughts and opinions have to be made to align with God's ways. So, I journey on.

I am grateful for what the Lord will show me during this season of my life.  I did have to stop something that I really wanted to do. that hurt and I cried, but I must be obedient to God. I must trust that he has a plan and that it will work together for the good of all involved.  So I journey on. 


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahilman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God (Day 1)

So I just completed my first day of this journey of being obedient. 

I must admit it was hard today. With all the things I knew I had to do on top of running my businesses and non-profits. I was a bit overwhelmed. The temptation was strong today. Distractions pulled for my attention and many times I found myself having to close my eyes and say, "Focus Linda." But I made it.

I started my day off with prayer. I prayed for guidance and enlightenment. Now this is not a normal morning prayer for me, but as I am on this journey I want to be able to see things I would not normally see, as it pertains to my obedience to God. After prayer, I did my daily Bible reading. I decided as a Church body that the members of New Life would read through the Bible together. I had fallen off a bit, but I am catching up now. So I read about 12 chapters today. 

Again it was hard not to go into study mode. But I pressed my way. One thing I do know is that I love reading the Bible. It relaxes me. After reading my Bible, I did a some journaling so I could reflect on my current situation. there are some things that have gone astray and gotten off track. So, I let myself ponder on what I did wrong and how I can avoid getting to this place the next time.

God spoke to me today about finishing what I start. See my current situation is the way it is because I will start things but I get distracted and sometimes I don't finish or I take longer than needed to get it done. I now know that God wants me to get focus on the things that I am supposed to be doing and not let anything, even my own selfish desire hinder me. 

This obedience journey is going to be hard than I thought. You see I thought, "I did this before, soI know what to expect. However, God had other plans and this journey is already turning out to be a totally different journey than the last time I did this. Then again, I am in a new place, a different mindset and I have matured just a bit in Christ and in the natural. 

So I surrender to God and all that he has for me during this journey. I will obey!


Are you taking this journey with me? tell me about your journey. I would love to hear from you. 


You are Bound No More. 


Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime 

21- Day Consecration: Obedience to God

Well, today I start my journey of obedience and not only thatI begin it on a five day fast. Yes, that was sprung on me right before I started but it's all apart of being Obedient. I have to be honest doing a straight 5 day fast, well it's been a minute. I have done one day here and maybe three days there. if I go longer than 3 days it would be a 6 to 6 or midnight to 7. But this is old school for me. I use to fast alot in my twenties. I did a few 21 day fast most many times would do 7-10 tens.

So I start this obedience walk. For those that are going on this walk with me. I am glad to hve you on the journey and I look forward to hearing what the Lord does for you in the midst of this 21 day journey. I believe many things will be birthed in the spirit and you will see a greater and deeper calling on your life.

You may have your own list of things you are doing and wanting from god during this consecration but for me. it's simple. I want to be able to hear and obey God at all times. As a Pastor, when lives assigned to me, i cant take this thing lightly.

So for the next 21 days, This is my vow to you and more importantly to God.

1. Reading the word, not just studying it for sermons and counseling. 
2. Eating right and losing some weight (Fasting the first five days).
3. Forgiving those that have wronged me and seeking forgiveness from those that I have wronged. 
4. Staying faithful to my writing schedule (3 Hours daily except for Sundays)
5. Being more consistent in every area of life. Saying what I mean and meaning what I say.
6. Being faithful to accomplishing daily, weekly and monthly goals.
7. Not watching anything that is contrary to my Christian beliefs.
8. No gossiping/venting.

Yes I added two more things to the six things I already had. who knows by the end of this I may have added more to the list. 

You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

(Corrected Post) Philippine Chronicles: Part 4: The Conclusion of the Matter

So when it is all said and done. Did I ever get my AHA moment. Yes, I did. However, it did not come as quickly as I would have liked. It came slowly. there were some tings I had to let go of. Some thoughts that were working against me. The pain of doing something so out of character and stupid clouded my mind from seeing what God was really trying to show me.

When I finally settled in and really did some soul searching. It was made clear. As my Friend Kelsi, would say, Clarity is divine, and it is!

So what was my AHA moment.  Well it may not seem muc to you but it's the world to me and believe me these words have transformed my life.

DO NOT FEAR!

As i stated before, only a few knew about what was going on while it was going on. But the reason for it all was fear. I was afraid of what people would say. How they would see me. I was afraid of what the Filipinos would say becasue I was not like evangelist rein, or elder Steph. My ministry was different. I was afraid to be who god said I was and be comfortable in that knowledge. I know that I am anointed but when you see others operate sometime we feel less than.

That was my problem. I felt less than.  God wanted to use me supernaturally but that meant I had to be okay with how He uses me. NOw dont get me wrong, when I am under the amointing I dont care but I cant afford to be in my flesh at all. The kind of ministry that God has called me to... well I am called to it because it is my spiritual fingerprint. It is the mark that god will leave on the world because I exist to be the vessel that h will use. I got in my own way. 

In a conversation, Someone asked me was I mad that God changed his mind. God immediately spoke to me and said "I never changed my mind. You did, Because of fear!" I remember a few years ago I heard or read somewhere that god told us in the bible 356 time to efear not. wile this is not true there are 110+ verses in the KJV of the Bible that tell us to "fear not", "do not be afraid", "Do not fear" etc. so when you think about it, God knew we would struggle with fear and made sure that he mentioned it enough that we would have the knowledge and understanding to overcome fear.

Fear is truly false evidence appearing real. It's a lie from the enemy that we are less than, not good enough, too bad to be transformed...whatever he might be putting in your head to get you distracted off what God is trying to do in and through you. My fear halted me. It did not stop me. Why do I say that, because I have chosen that I am what god says that I am and I will do what god says I will do in the way he has anointed and appointed me to do it. I know not everyone will like my style or hear my testimony but there are those that are assigned to me. 

I accept my assignment and move forward.  NO MORE FEAR!



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

(Corrected Post) Oh How He Loves Me: A Father's Love

I did not grow up in the same house as my father. My biological father that is. However, he taught me some very important things even in his distance from me. 

As many of us have, especially African American children, my mother and father were divorced before I could walk good. Now, to their defense... it was a shotgun wedding. I mean my mother was 17 going on 18 when she found out she was pregnant with me and my father was 18 going on 19.  So needless to say, they got married and we became an instant family, I believe my mother was about 6 months pregnant walking down the aisle. 

So now back to my father and what he taught me. 

My father was not a rich man nor did he have a lot of material things to give, but I can say even in my darkest moments, My daddy loved me. even when I was unlovable and made it difficult for him to love me. He did. Wade Alfonso Hillman Sr. was the best daddy this girl could ever have. Let me tell you I made it hard on him to love me. I had heard so much about how terrible it was for my mother and the things she had suffered that I just really thought my father was a deadbeat dad. However, I only heard one side of the story.

When I finally got around to hearing his side, I was so sure it was a lie that I did not accept it. However, God used my Father's love for me to teach me about His love for me.

Like I said even when I made it extremely hard on my father. He never stopped trying to be my father. He never gave up on me and he never stop telling and showing m how much he loved me. His love won me over and we started having a better relationship and shortly after that he was gone. He had passed away. I regret the years that I would not accept his love for me.

I remember one day I was journaling about how much I missed my father and hearing him say I love you, when god spoke to me. "Why did you wait so long to receive his love?"  I then heard my voice saying about God and his love... I just can't receive God's love after all that I have done. God showed me that the same issue I had with my biological father was the same issue I was having with my Spiritual Father. He loved me unconditionally. He never asked for anything in return, but I could tell when I had hurt him. However, it dd not stop him.

If my biological father could love me unconditionally until death tore us apart. Then why is it so hard for me to understand the love of God for me. Not only did God robe himself in flesh to have something in common with me but he gave up his life that I might live. When Christ tell me he loves me, it is easier for me to understand what that kind of love is because I understand now how much my earthly father loved me.

Even though my dad has been gone for years, He is still close to me because every once in a while I remember him saying I love you. It was not eloquent or poetry, but it was heartfelt. so even now I felt his love. but even more importantly because of his love, I can now understand my heavenly father's love toward me. I understand that even when I disappoint him, he will not give up on me.

So thank you Wade Alfonso Hillman for loving me. it's because of your love I know an everlasting love.  RIP Daddy! Happy Father's day!

Philippine Chronicles: Part 3: The Conclusion of the Matter

OH WOW, I almost forgot. Before I went to sleep that Sunday morning, I scheduled a post for later that morning. It was a post of my thoughts and I told people about my blogs. Yes, the blogs that I am writing now. The blogs I have written and the ones to come. Well, one more after this one.  I knew I had to tell my truth, the whole truth and nothing but. I was thankful that I journaled, so I had an accurate account of what happened, as it happened. I knew I would share everything. I just did not know how. As I was strolling on FB looking at posts and catching up, I came across a post from one of my friends. It was a post on Stephanie D. Mckenzie's timeline. 

"Don't worry about what didn't go right. Just know that you haven't been left. You are not alone, and no matter how thigs look like this very moment, you ar destined for something greater. One moment WILL change your life!"

It was not my AHA moment, but t was the beginning of the lesson I would learn from all of this. My AHA moment was still to come. At this point, I can't say that I knew the lesson I was supposed to learn from this or even if there was a lesson for me to glean from. I knew I ws the only one that could endure this and endure I must. this post gave me something to think about.

I looked at the globe that I have on my desk and remembered all the places that God said I would travel to share the Gospel. I began to intercede for each country that came to mind. I began to proclaim deliverance and restoration over the regions. I claimed salvation for those in need, I prayed for covering for the Christians being persecuted for their faith. I prayed that God would do everything he Promised in the Phillippines crusade.

I prayed until I could not think of anything else to say. Again I repented for my failure to be prepared for Kingdom business and told God you give me another chance that I would not let him down again. There was such a peace that entered my home. For the first time in six days, I knew that I would be okay. That it all would work together. I accepted my situation and the shame of it all subsided. When it was time to share my testimony, I knew that I would be able to do it with my head held high.

In tomorrow's blog, I will share what the Lord taught me through this. I must admit that he is still speaking to me about this experience so I am sure there will be more but for now...tomorrow will be the last post regarding my Chronicles of the Phillippines. 

The Conclusion (FINALE) will happen tomorrow. See you then.



You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 

Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime

Philippine Chronicles: Part 2: The Conclusion of the Matter

I waited and waited. Then I got a message from Rein, she told me that they were setting up the Internet and would be connecting soon. So I waited.When we finally got connected the connection was bad. So we had a few disconnects. I just prayed that God would have His way. We reconnected and I would get knocked off. Nothing seemed to be going right. 

Then I was connected and I could see Praise and Worship happening but I could not hear. I was feeling a bit distant and disconnected from them. It was not like the time Evangelist Rein, Elder Steph and I had visited with them before on Skype. that time we could feel God even over Skype. We could hear them and see and we were immediately connected in the spirit with them. I began to pray that the Spirit that was in the Service would transfer to me. Then I lost the pic. After a few more tries, I was back on. I told myself, God's will get the glory.

When it was time for me to begin preaching, before I could open my mouth, we were disconnected again. We kept reconnecting, then I began preaching. As I began to speak, I could feel God's Presence. I could not see them, and I was not sure if they could see me, but I preached as if I was standing there in front of them.

Then I was cut off again. Each time I came back, I would pick right up where I felt off. Then finally, I got cut off and we could not reconnect. I had not even got to my second point. I sat there trying to reconnect. So about 5 AM my time, I logged off my computer and prayed for the service, I knew one of the Other ladies had to complete what I started so I just prayed that God would weave it all together. I messaged Rein and asked her to let me know how it went. about 6 AM I went to bed.

I slept for about 12 hours. Now it is important that I tell you this because normally, I only get 4-5 hours of sleep and my body wakes. Even when I try to sleep longer, I can't so the very fact that I slept 12 hours...meant something to me. 

When I finally got up, Not only was I well rested, but I was sluggish. I knew I needed to decide wat to do to inform my supporters, and those waiting to hear about my journey to Philippines. I had stated on FB, that I would have a #ChroniclesofPhillippines. I knew that some were seeing the Pictures Rein had posted and read some of her posts and by now were wondering where my posts were. I had not said anything to anyone except for those that knew about it. Plus I had not really posted anything on FB since my picture I had taken saying that I was preparing to leave that past Tuesday.

Stay tuned for more to come!


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Philippine Chronicles: Part 1: The Conclusion of the Matter

So a few weeks ago, I said that I would finish my chronicles. I must admit this hasn't been as hard as I originally thought it would be. However, I am still learning from this and I pray that in all this that you have been able to see the redemption, healing and restoration that has occurred and is occurring.

It is my hope that these last few entries will bless you as much as they have blessed me.

So the story continues.

Now a short recap, I was was waiting for the AHA moment. That moment that would give me the clarity I was seeking. In the meanwhile, I was waiting to hear from Evangelist Rein about preaching via Skype. 

So I get back on my computer about 12 AM. To my surprise, there is an inbox from Rein. I was scheduled to preach at the 6 PM service on Sunday. So I started trying to figure out the time difference. The Phillippines is 15 hours ahead of California. So 6 PM their time would be about 3 AM my time. So I had 3 hours to get myself together. I went to my sermons folder and opened up the file that I had typed for the Word God had given me to share. It was still in notes form because I had figured on the plane I would be able to polish it up and set it up in some kind of format. Now there was no time for that. I read through the notes and then prayed for the delivery of His message to His people.  As I prayed, God switched the message from what I was meditating on to a totally different sermon. He impressed on me to preach from Mark 8th chapter about the blind man who was brought to Jesus to be healed and to continue on to the story of Peter confessing that Jesus was the son of God. I read through the verses quickly and asked God what He wanted to say to His people. 

Praying and Meditating on the verses, God began to speak so clearly to me. I jotted a few notes, but I must admit, I got a bit unnerved because I felt ill prepared. I knew that God would pull it together. However, I was still a bit panicked.

I continued to pray and ask God presence to go before me and touch the hearts and minds of the people that would be gathered. I asked him to knit me together with them even though we were thousands of miles apart. I anointed myself with oil, my eyes, my mouth and my ears. I asked God to move me out of the way and to use me as a vessel of honor.

At 3 AM my time, I logged into my Skype account and waited for them to connect with me. I sent a message to rein so she would know that I was ready on my end.

Stay tuned, there's more!


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Do You See Me Now? Guest blog by Milton Harris

One day when I was brainstorming topics for new messages, tired, frustrated, and suffering from spiritual block, I decided to take a break. As I lean back in my chair, I glanced over to my right, and there was a small smudge on the wall that very much resembled the likeness of Jesus Christ. I could not believe it, ecstatic about this observation, I called everyone who was around to come and see Jesus! When everyone was gathered around, I showed them the area where the Jesus smudge was and I asked them “what do you see?” I found myself becoming frustrated with the crowd because what seemed to be clear to me was not resonating with the crowd no matter how long they stared. It wasn’t until I pointed out exactly what I saw, that they were able to see what was there before them all along...Jesus.

It was in this moment that I believe Jesus was telling me that a lot of us do not recognize Him even when He is right in front of our face. Why do we not recognize Him? I believe it is because we are too focused on ourselves and our desires, that we are oblivious to the fact that Jesus is waving His hands in our lives trying to get our attention. Jesus wants us to know that He is always here with us and one of the ways He shows Himself to us is through the miracles He performs within our lives. Now, when I say Jesus shows Himself to us through His miracles, we need to be careful not to define miracles too narrowly or too broadly, because Jesus is performing them all around us every day. However, the problem is, we do not have the eyes to see them because we are not focusing on Christ and trusting in His purpose for our lives. Jesus desperately wants to be visible in our lives and He is waving His hands right before us through the signs and miracles He performs. He is screaming out to us...Do You See Me Now?

The good news is that we are not the first people to suffer from spiritual blindness. The people during Jesus’ time also had trouble seeing Jesus for who He truly was. In John 8:19 Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees who did not believe Jesus was the son of God. They are asking Him to show them His father who sent Him, giving reference to Jesus’ earthly father. Jesus replied “You’re looking right at me and you don’t see me. How do you expect to see the Father? If you knew me, you would at the same time know the Father.” It is in this scripture Jesus tells us why we are so blind to His presence. Jesus is saying that we cannot view and understand things of the spiritual world through Earthly Lenses. The Pharisees were looking for Jesus’ Earthly father because they did not accept the truth that Jesus Christ was the Son of God and it was this refusal that prevented them from seeing the truth that was Jesus.

I have one takeaway this week and It is to open your eyes to the miracles going on in your life big or small, because that is when you will see Jesus. Recognize the breath in your lungs, the food in your belly, the ability to read this blog. Recognize...Jesus. Don’t allow Jesus to be right in front of you but because you are focused on the things of this world you do not see Him.Jesus wants us to recognize Him in our lives and just like when He performed all the signs and miracles for the Jews, Priest, and Pharisees so they could see who He really was (the Son of God), I believe Christ is doing the same for us today, and is asking...DO YOU SEE ME NOW?!

Milton Harris

Milton Harris III first accepted Christ at the age of seventeen when he decided to join First Baptist Church of Glenarden. This was not a quick decision; he actually spent four years attending services as a visitor before making the life-changing decision to give his life to Christ. Religion and God were not something that was introduced and pushed upon him growing up. He knew of God, but never had a relationship with Him. After that fateful Sunday morning service, his spiritual journey began, but slowly. After five years of studying and strengthening his walk with Christ, Milton accepted the calling he knew God had placed upon his life for preaching the word of God. This was an overwhelming and very intimidating task initially, until he suddenly realized all God required of him was to be of pure heart and to be himself. In addition to preaching the word of God, he works as a full-time U.S. Capitol Police Officer, mentors junior high school boys as a football coach, and has been invited for the last four years to speak at an annual Men’s Conference on the importance of men stepping up to be the best fathers and husbands they are capable of being. Milton and his wife Tracy reside in Brandywine, MD with their lively little boy Jayden. 

Wise Words

What is the strongest muscle in the human body? Some say it's the tongue, but it's hard to determine which muscle is the most powerful because muscles don't work alone. 

But we do know that the tongue is strong. For a small muscle, it can do a lot of damage. this active little muscular organ that helps us eat, swallow, taste, and begin digestion has tendency to also assist us in saying things we shouldn't. the tongue is guilty of flattery, cursing, lying, boasting, and harming others. And that's just the short list.

It sounds like a pretty dangerous muscle, doesn't it? But here's the good thing: it doesn't have to be that way. When we are controlled by the Holy Spirit, our tongues can be turned to great good. we can speak of God's righteousness and justice. We can speak the truth, show love, and confess sin.

The writer of Proverbs 12:18 spells out one of the best uses for the tongue: 

"The tongue of the wise brings healing."

Imagine how we could glorify the one who made our tongues when He helps us use it to bring healing --not harm-- to everyone we interact with. How different would our relationships with each other be? 


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

What Is That To You?

Social media is useful for many things, but contentment is not one of them. at least not for me. even when my goals are good, I can become discouraged by continual reminders that others are accomplishing them first or with greater results. I am prone to this kind of discouragement, so I frequently remind myself that God has given me everything I need to accomplish the work He wants me to do.

This means I don't need a bigger budget or assurance of success. I don't need a better work environment or a different job. I don't need a bigger house, better car or the approval or permission of others. I don't need good health, or more time. God may give me some of those things, but everything I need I already have, for when He assigns work He provides the resources. My only assignment is to use whatever time and talents He has given in a way that blesses others and gives God the glory.

Jesus and Peter had a conversation that got around to this subject. After making breakfast on the shore of Galilee, Jesus told Peter what would happen at the end of his life, Pointing at another disciple, Peter asked, "What about him?" Jesus responded, "What is that to you?"

That is the question I need to ask myself when I compare myself to others. the answer is, "None of my business." My business is to follow Jesus ad to be faithful to his purpose and plan for me. 


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Your Finest Hour: Is That You Did Not Give Up

Failure is not final or fatal!

Prime Minister Winston Churchill is one of my favorite historical people in the world, that ever lived. He not only spoke with such conviction and caused people to do and be what they could not be on their own, but his words still inspire and motivate generations even today. 

Churchill knew how to lift the spirits of the British people during World War II. On June 18, 1940, he told a frightened populace, "Hitler knows that he will have to break us...or lose the war...Let us, therefore, brace...and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire [lasts] for a thousand years, men will say, 'This was their finest hour'"

We all would like to be remembered for our "finest hour". Perhaps the Apostle Peter's finest hour was when he proclaimed "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Maybe it was when He asked to walk on water, or preached on the day of Pentecost. Yet, after Peter repeatedly denied that he knew Jesus, he went out and wept bitterly. There is even an account where Jesus himself had to rebuke him for saying the wrong thing. Even after this God had to give him a dream and rebuke him for his attitude against teh gentiles. All that said, Peter is still known as a great Apostle and disciple of Christ.

Like Peter, we all fall short --in our relationships, in our struggle with sin, in our obedience and faithfulness to God. But "failure is not fatal," as Churchill also said. I have added another word: final. I have had my own share of failures. some I wish I could blink away and others I wish I could do over. thankfully, thi statement is true in our lives: spiritually and naturally. 

Jesus forgave the repentant Peter for his failure and then used him to fulfil the plan God had for him to accomplished. Peter led many to Salvation on the Day of Pentecost and through out his time on earth. even today we gleam from his wosdom through the two books hw wrote in the Bible. Just as god forgave Peter, he will and wants to forgive us. 

We may have fallen short, we may have failed, but failure is not FINAL nor is it FATAL.  God will lovingly restore those who turn back to him. Guess what, no matter how many times you fall...He is there to pick you back up again.

When God forgives, He removes the sin (failure) and restores the soul. I'm a living witness.


You are Bound No More. 


 Pastor Linda Hillman 
 Booklindahillman@gmail.com 

Get Your Copy Now 
Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

The Challenge of Transition

After former professional athlete Chris Sanders suffered a career-ending injury, he told a group of military veterans that although he had never experienced combat, "I understand the pressures of transitions."

Whether it's the loss of a job, the loss of a marriage, a serious illness, the loss of a loved one or a financial setback, every major change brings challenges. The former athlete told the soldiers that the key to success, when you are transitioning into a new way of living, is to reach out and get help.

The book of Joshua is recommended reading whenever we find ourselves in transition. After 40 years of wandering and setbacks, God's people were poised to enter the Promised Land. Moses, their great leader, had died and Joshua, his assistant was now in charge.  Needless to say, Joshua was just as unsure as the Children of Israel.

God spoke to Joshua in Joshua 1:6-11:

Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: “Go through the camp and tell the people, ‘Get your provisions ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the Lord your God is giving you for your own.’”

God told Joshua to "Be Strong and Courageous", these words might seem simple but this statement was powerful. God's words of direction were to be the foundation of Joshua's leadership in every situation. Moses had led the people through the wilderness, a time of discovery of who they were and to whom they belonged. God proved himself time and time again in the wilderness, even though they complained. However, now a transition was taking place. It was time for the Children of Israel to grow up, if you will. They were to start to take ownership of their destiny. To claim what God said was theirs and Joshua would lead them.

The Lord's charge and promise to Joshua apply to us as well: "Be Strong and courageous". read the verses again. In those 5 verses, God says, "Be strong and courageous" 3 times. that is no mistake. God knows that what you are facing in this transition may shake you up. It's something you have not experienced before, however, God is with you. 

Okay, last thing, God told Joshua:

1. "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them." God confirmed Joshua was the right one for the Job. 

2. "Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you?" God then reaffirmed that he had been trained well for the position and not to forsake what he had been taught. Our success comes from everything we have triumphed over and what has been instilled in us. 

3. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” God then says that Joshua need not be afraid because he is with him no matter what comes his way.

God is with us in the transitions of life. The good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent. He will never leave us nor forsake. Take comfort in knowing God has your back.

Now tell me about a time you had to: transition, change, elevate, evolve. Was God with you? 


You are Bound No More.

Pastor Linda Hillman
Booklindahillman@gmail.com

Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime