Sorry, I thought I had written this blog when it first posted but I realized that it posted along with May 8th post blank. So I am reposting.
So needless to say I was confused. I did not know what to do and how to move forward. there was about 75% of me said,"It's over, this can't be fixed. You messed up." But there was 25% of me saying nothing is impossible for God. So my confusion was, "Do I trust God and wait for his instruction?" or "Do I give up?"
On the way back to Stockton, I just decided that I would not fight anymore. I would give up. I needed God to speak and he had said nothing. beside the little part of me saying trust Him, there was no assurance to trust.
So, this is where things start getting real. Now as I write the events that will happen from this point forward, I am being transparent and taking you through my journey. I think many times people feel because we have a calling to preach, pastor, evangelist and do full-time ministry we can't have down days or make HUGE mistakes. That is the farthest thing from the truth. As long as we have flesh and free will we can make mistakes. What I learned in all this is how you bounce back from it.
So back to my testimony, I sent a message on FB to Rein and Kelsi and told them Since I was not being instructed how to move forward, that I was just going to give up and not try to get to the Philippines. I told myself that it was not meant to be. If it had been then I would have been on the plane. Even though God had confirmed His word several times to me through my own personal prayer and dreams, he had sent prophecies from others, and when we had prayer vigils regarding the Philippines no one ever said God said I was not suppose to go...it was obvious that I was not suppose to go.
So now the torment started. I know now that this was demonic and it came to destroy not only my witness but whatever ministry god still has in me. I will explain more as we go.
After I wrote the inbox message to them. I looked at my sister and she had a look of concern on her face. So I asked her. Now my little Sister Jessica, is also very prophetic and I know that God speaks to her. I knew that my emotions were up in the air and I had shut down spiritually. So I asked her what she thought, did god tell her anything. She said, "Linda, I saw god move on your behalf and do things that are unexplainable, not just concerning this trip but how he takes care of you. I can't believe when you think about how you got the money to go when you didn't have it, how you got the medicine and immunizations, even giving you money so you can get a pedicure. You can't tell me that God would do all this just to have you miss the flight by forgetting your passport. IF he is not telling you to stay then you should do whatever he is telling you to do. One thing I know for sure, God speaks to you and he speaks specifically. Maybe you emotions are in the way and you cant hear what God is saying but that does not mean he is not speaking. Don't just give up."
I thought about what she said. Then I heard what the man from China Southern said. So I picked up my phone to call them. On the recorded message, they said that they have flights from SFO on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday to Manilla but they had flights Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to Guangzhou. I knew that if I could get on a flight on Friday that I could possibly catch the last leg of the flight that left today from Guangzhou to Manilla. Although when the representative came on the phone, the information he gave me was different. He said that there was a flight on Saturday that would get me to Manilla on Monday morning. However, in order to get on that flight I would need to call Priceline because they were the ones that I got my ticket from. Later it will come up that I could have asked China Southern to let me go on standby on Saturday's flight and they may have done that with no further fees. But I digress.
So I called Priceline. Once on the phone with them. They looked into any flights going to Manilla. I asked for Friday or Saturday at the latest. She came back with a list of flights I could take but all of them were over thousand dollars and even with the price I had paid for the ticket I had, with the difference in airfare and all the fees I would still have to pay over thousand dollars to get on the flight. I just didn't have that kind of money. Seeing no way out and hearing Elder Smith's words, "I don't want to be where God has not ordained me to be." after going back and forth with Priceline. I canceled the flight and asked for a refund. I was told by Priceline that they could refund the money, but I would have to pay a 300.00 cancelation fee to China Southern.
I tried not to break down in front of my sister. I was not sure if my sister was feeling bad or not but if she were I did not want my state of mind to add to it. I was confused and did not know what to think or do at this point. I can say I gave up and let faith go.
Stay tuned for more to come...
You are Bound No More.
Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklinda@gmail.com
Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime
I could feel my doubt trying to flood in. My positivity had turned into faith and now it was slowly running out. To keep myself from thinking, I went back to the ticket counter. I asked the same lady if they could wait for my passport, it was on its way. She called over a supervisor. I explained to the supervisor my situation and that my passport was on its way. This supervisor called over someone who had more authority than she did. I explained to him what was going on and he said they could give me to 1:20 PM. I thanked her and looked at my watch it was 12:55PM. At this point, all I could do is wait. He then added, "Tell them to get here as quick as possible."
So I waited. At 1:05, I started pacing, I was getting really nervous. I kept telling myself, "Linda don't think." it became my mantra so I would not have negative thoughts. About 1:20PM, The same man came to me and said, "Do you have a picture of your passport?" I told him, "Yes." He said, "Come on then, we will check you in and hold your luggage until the passport comes." I wasn't sure what he meant, but I said thank you and followed him. As they were checking me in my phone battery started to die, so I got out my charger and gave them the cord. As they worked on checking me in, this man, who had the final say, told me that if my luggage could not get on the flight because it was too close to take off that they would put it on the next flight out which was Saturday. I prayed Lord delay the plane. Because I knew that I had another flight to Cagayan De Oro and since I was leaving on Thursday, I would not get to Manila until Saturday and that flight left Saturday afternoon. I would just make it for that flight with Rein and Stephanie.
I would not think about that now. I would cross that bridge later. Right now, God was working on my behalf and I would not give the enemy any room or a foothold. They checked me in and took my luggage. I got my phone back and asked where an outlet was to charge my phone. I said he would check in with me at 1:30. As I was heading to sit down, I saw a white Lexus that looked like Kelsi car. I remember my heart beating so fast. however, the car pulled off and I realized it was not her. Before I could find an outlet near my phone died.
At 1:30, he approached me again and said, How much longer, I told him I did not know because my phone had died. He pulled his cell phone out and asked for a number to call. The only number I knew was Jessica's so I gave him her numbers and she informed us that Kelsi had the passport ad had left headed to me about 5-10 minutes ago. So I told her to call Kelsi and get an estimate of time because they were wanting to know how much more time I needed. She said okay. I told her to call back on the number that I had called her on. He said we wait and returned to the ticket counter.
For the second time, I prayed Lord delay the plane until they get here and I can get to the boarding area. I stood there watching cars especially white cars coming and going. I stood there until I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the man again. He had my luggage and a lady was with him. He asked had they come yet or were they close because no one had called him back. I just shook my head. He said, "I'm sorry I can't delay anymore." The lady tore up my boarding pass and removed the tags off my luggage. I shook his hand and thanked him for all his help. He patted me on the shoulder and said there is another flight on Saturday. I wanted to cry but held my tears back.
Now my prayer changed. I prayed, "God hold up the airplane, let them have a delay and have him come looking for me letting me, so I can still board the plane." I willed Kelsi to drive up soon.
See what happens next...
You are Bound No More.
Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com
Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime
Finally, we are at SFO, I get my luggage and situate myself so I can maneuver my bags. I walk up to the ticketing counter, put my check-in bag on the scale and proudly announce, "I here to check in for my flight."
I open up my carry-on purse and pull out the famous purse pouch. I smile to myself becasue, see I did not forget it. I look and NO passport. I move the items around and NO passport. then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I left it in the copier in my home office. My heart sinks. I look once again, I can't believe I have done this again. trying to buy time I give the representative my Driver's license and pull out my cell phone.
Okay, okay, I now you want to know how I left my passport in the copier. Well, the night before I was reading things online about traveling internationally alone ans some precautions one should take. Many of the sites said, make a copy of your passport and leave with family members in the states in case something happen. they also said I should have copies on my person to hand to hotels that require having your passport on file. This way you don't have to give them your original. So after reading that I went to make copies of my passport. However, after making the copies I never put my passport back in my pouch purse.
So now I am on the phone wth my sister, Jessica, again. She is at work and I ask her to go to the house and get my passport out of the copier and drive it to a meeting place I will tell her so someone can meet her and bring the passport to me. I look at my watch while I am talking to her and see that it is 11:02 AM. The plane does not leave to 1:55 PM. So we have more than enough time to. She agrees to do and I ask what is the latest I can check in for the flight. They tell me 1PM.
My next phone call was to Mother Pryor, I could hear the disappointment in her voice when I told her what had happened. She called my name "Linda" like only a mother could do. She said she would pull off the freeway and wait for instructions where to meet Jessica because she had to get back to get her grandson by 2PM.
I called my middle sister, Stephy to see if she was off work. Unfortunately, she was at work. My plan was to have Jessica drive to her and Have Stephy, who is a fast driver like myself bring the passport to me. But she was at work. I asked if they would let her leave ans she said it was just two of them in the Pharmacy and she would not be able to leave.
Then I called Kelsi, a friend that lives in Richmond. I need to have a backup plan. I asked her if she had time to help in this situation. She was willing to do whatever was needed. She also suggested that I let Mother Pryor go so she could get back to ensure that she was there for Caleb. I told her it would be easier for us to Vox. I hung up with Kelsi and called Mother Pryor back. I told her she could go that Jessica and Kelsi would make sure that I got my passport. Then I waited.
I looked at my watch it was about 11:20 now. I hadn't heard from Jessica about her leaving the house. Kelsi and I were trying to figure out the fastest route. We were going back and forth and Kelsi reached out to Rein. rein advised her that meeting up in Oakland would be best. So Kelsi told me to have Jessica meet her at Powell street in Emeryville.
I called Jessi and asked where she was and did she have my passport. I was expecting her to say yes. but her answer was I am just leaving my job. I looked at my watch. I was like okay, as long as she gets there and leaves by 11:45 we should be good. Kelsi had told me from Emeryville it would take her 30 minutes if there was no traffic. So I knew it would take Jessica 45 minutes to an hour.
I get a call from Jessica and I look at my phone it is about 11:50. She was looking in the wrong place for my passport. I explain that it was in the printer/copier. She said okay I got it. I then instructed her she needed to hurry because I needed to get the passport by 1PM. I told her to call me when she was on the road so I could have an estimate of when she would be able to meet up with Kelsi. I mean she has my passport in hand nothing is stopping her from walking out the door right now. Right?
I go back to the ticketing counter and asked what is the absolute time I could check in. the lady I spoke to told me no later than 1:10PM. Whew, 10 more minutes. I breathe a little but from this point on NOTHING can go wrong. At about 11:59 Jessy calls and says she was on her way. I flash a bit but I hold my peace. For the first time, the thought crosses my mind she is not going to make it. I immediately push it out with an outspoken statement, she HAS to make it. Now I forcing myself to think positive. If God could part the Red Sea, surely he could get my passport here on time to me. I prayed that there would be no traffic or accidents and everything would flow well. NO delays. Then I looked at my watch and pleaded for God to slow time for me like he did for Joshua. I should have asked for God to STOP time, or make the Sun stand still which is what he actually did.
I called Jessi for a progress report and she was just approaching Tracy. Then I got a thought. I said I know that you are driving, but see if you can take a picture of the data page of my passport and text it to me. Be Safe but let me know if you can. NOW, I know someone is going to say, OH no you didn't put that girl's life in danger to do that for you. But sadly I did. I told you this was going to be the real and the raw. I am not going to leave stuff out because it makes me look bad or sound bad. So yes, I did that. Now I know you can't text and drive safely, that whole thought process was wrong on so many levels. My only excuse was this girl was desperate and desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Needless to say a few minutes later my phone chimed with a text message and there it is. I look at it to make sure all the necessary information is on the pic. I blow it up and everything is there and it's readable. I got back to the ticket counter and asked the rep there if they can check me in with the pic of my passport. She looks and says no she needs to scan it. I walk away a bit defeated. I was hoping that they would have been able to do it.
My thought process was...they would see that I had a passport. Check me in on the flight and get my luggage to the airplane. then I could continue to wait for for my passport and run to get on the flight once it got there. But this way I would not miss the check in time. My thought was that would give them more time to get there with the passport since the plane did not actually leave until 1:55 PM. So hearing that she needed my physical passport. I whispered a prayer as I walked back to sit and wait. I asked God to grant me favor. Let the plane have to be delayed allowing them enough time to get here with my passport. I checked in with Jessica again she was entering the Altamont. Now in her defense Jessica was making very good timing. But with a time restraint, I was praying that she would drive faster. I looked at my watch and it was about 12:35 now. For the second time, I thought she isn't going to make it. The drive from that point was still about 20-25 minutes. Once again, I prayed that there be no traffic to slow her down. But once she got to Kelsi, there was still 30 minutes before they would get it to me. I breathed deeply and thought, God let them make it.
Continue to read what happens next...
You are Bound No More.
Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklinda@gmail.com
Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime
So here we are, it's April 23rd. I am now excited all over. God has done some great things in my behalf and I finally get to begin my journey. I have my bags repacked. No, I did not unpack then but there were some requirements on weight that I wanted to make sure that my bags met so I would not have to pull things out while I was there. I did not want anything to hinder me getting on the plane. I have my purse, that I left on Tuesday, securely in my carry-on purse bag. So I will not forget it this time.
I got up about 6:30 AM and get dressed. Then I run a few errands. I needed to go to the ATM and get cash for gas and toll money for Mother Pryor. Who had so graciously said that she would take me to the airport. I collect the mail, pull my mother's car into the garage like she had asked me to do. Now all I have to do is wait for Mother Pryor to come. I sit on the couch in the formal living room and I wait. I say a simple thank you, Jesus, for your grace and mercy. I am a bit anxious. This is really happening this time.
Finally, Mother Pryor arrives and calls me to tell me she is outside. We load up the car. She drives down the street to the gas station and I get out to pay for the gas. As I am returning to the car, I get an unction to check my purse for my passport. I know that I have my purse because I showed it to Mother Pryor prior to getting the gas. However, I shake it off as me being a little nervous because of what happened the last time. The unction takes a while to settle down, but it does.
I take our some donuts and water, so I can eat so I can take my Malaria pills. As I 'm waiting for her to pump the gas I get another unction to check for my passport. I dismiss it with a chuckle because surely I would not forget my passport again. That would be insane. That's not even like me. Tuesday was a fluke. So I continue to eat my donuts and again the unction fades. Mother Pryor gets in the car and head to the freeway. We chit chat and laugh and everything seems to be right.
Now my nerves begin to kick in about flying solo. It was one thing when Evangelist Rein and I would be traveling together, but now I would be traveling alone. I feel a bit of anxiety about getting on the plane, but I think it's because of what happened on Tuesday. However, even then I did not check my purse. I reaffirmed to myself that everything was done. My check-in bag was 33 lbs and my carry-on suitcase was 10 lbs. I'm within the regulations. I had everything I needed.
Come back to read what happens at the airport.
You are Bound No More.
Pastor Linda Hillman
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International
Booklindahillman@gmail.com
Get Your Copy Now
Will You Be Made Whole
In The Meantime
