Philippines Chronicles: When God Speaks! Part 4

So my mother and I hang up the phone and I reach for my carryon bag to get my little purse pouch with my passport in it. and OH NO! it's not there. I look in my seat, nothing. I look on the floor of the car, nothing. Now my heart begins to pound. I look again just in case I missed it. It's not here!

I think back, did I take it in the bathroom with me at the gas station. No I took was my phone and I had my phone with me. So I look again. Now Caleb asks is something wrong? I can see the concern on his face. I keep looking. Where is my purse? I am now frantically looking for this little pouch-clutch purse. Caleb again asks, "Is something wrong?" I finally speak it, "I am looking for my purse." He begins to help me look but we find nothing. I could feel the panic and the frustration at this moment sipping in.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I left it in the car. My mother's car that was parked in Stockton, CA in front of Rein's house. We were in Hayward at the moment. I looked at my watch and it was about 11:50. We were about to approach the San Mateo Bridge so we could not turn around now. We would never make it there and back. My heart beats faster.  we were about 100 miles from Stockton. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 1:55 PM. 

Now I am frustrated with myself and I feel stupid. How could I have left my purse with all my identification, credit cards, cash and MY PASSPORT! I am furious at myself and my embarrassment is growing. I cant blame anyone but me. 

So let me just slip this in at this point. I DONT leave my purse. I will forget my keys, hair brush and other stuff but my purse... That is not going to happen. I guard my purse like fort knox. Especially my identity. I have had identity theft so I am always eyeballing my purse. So to leave my purse that is not me at all. So this now feels like an attack. Like there are forces beyond me at work here. How did I leave my purse? How did I know sense this sooner? It's baffled me. However, this situation has no easy solve to it. 

I call my little sister and asked her to go to the car to verify my purse was there. I told her to call me back ASAP.

When we got to the airport, we unloaded the car. I went to the ticketing counter and asked when the next flight was going out. They told me the next flight would be Thursday. I felt the bile in my throat. THURSDAY! I asked if they had another flight on a affiliate airline that was going out later that day. They seemed to not understand what I was asking. My heart sank. So about 10 minutes after talking to the ticketing counter my sister called me back and confirmed my purse was in the car. I was releaved but disappointed. i would have to miss my flight. This was really happening... another obstacle to this trip. 

I went back to the ticketing counter to see if I could get on the Thursday flight for sure and I was told that I needed to go back to where I purchased the ticket to make arrangements. So with nothing left to do at this point. I loaded my things back in the car and headed back to Stockton, defeated, discouraged, embarrassed and feeling stupid. I could not blame antone but me, I wasn't even being rushed. It was just a silly unfortunate mistake.

This story contuinues so come back tomorrow to hear what happens next.


You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 
(c) 2015 LAH Ministries International 
Booklinda@gmail.com 

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Will You Be Made Whole 
In The Meantime

Stop Having A Fit

Many times we have triggers inside of us but why are they there. What was the original hurt? Was it real or perceived? What was left unlearned because we chose not to deal with it? So everything else is weighed against it and never in balance because there is really no way of recalibrating the scale. The truth is it was never calibrated right in the first place. There has to be a point where you destroy the root of the problem. You must confront the very thing that initiates your spiral into the pit of anger. That leaves you in a fit of rage, anger and confusion. You must be willing to expose the whole truth and nothing but the truth to allow the lessons to be learned and more importantly lived.

Life is not going to hand you a solution to all your problems; however every solution you need is racing to get to you. The real problem is our ability to see past the problem. When we start to remove the layers of film on our eyes we will be able to see a true reflection of what occurred and how to fix the situation.

We throw fits because we are not willing to hear, trust and learn. We are so busy wanting it right now that we miss the eternal applications that will keep our hearts and minds in perfect peace.

We blame God, others, loss of jobs, houses, cars, mates and what have you so we don’t look at the real problem. It is simple…the “me” problem; the understanding that I am my worst enemy. It’s because of how I interpret things that have occurred that I am in this situation. It’s me not anyone else. Sure they hurt you, they lied, they talked about you, they left you, they cheated…and that almost killed you –mentally, emotionally, socially, financially and spiritually. Yes they did all that. However, no one has power over your decisions but you. And you have to give that power away. It is your fault not theirs. I know that reality hurts, OUCH! It hurt me to say it and I am sure it hurts to read it. So now that the band aid is off let’s fix the problem instead of having a fit.

It starts with you taking the power back and putting ownership where it belongs. Do this for me, take a minute to stand in front of the nearest mirror and say, “Today I will no longer pass the buck. The buck stops here. My worst enemy has become my best friend.” Then smile as big as you can. The next thing you are going to do as a project is simply get dressed up. I mean go all out and dress for success and take a picture.  For the moment you are taking the picture nothing else matters. Think of a time you felt totally free from anger, worry, frustration, strife and hatred… YES that moment. Bask in that moment and smile for the camera. Take a few shots with different poses even do an outfit change, if you like. Make it a real photo shoot opportunity. Now every time you see those pictures I want you to think this is my best friend. 

Nope, not finished yet, remember we are fixing the problem not just placing another band aid on it. Now it’s time to get serious about your healing. Get a Journal. You don’t journal superficial things like what you ate today or what the events of the day were. No, this journal is to take a long good look at you. Therefore journal how you feel, journal your heart, journal your thoughts, journal your raw emotions and let it flow. Today you may feel like pulling your hair out because of what John said reminded you of your past relationship with Steve, journal it. Tomorrow you can be on top of the world because you realized that you just got that promotion you been wanting, Journal it. You had a breakthrough during early Morning prayer, journal it.

When you journal, you start to see that problems become clearer. Just as amazing, is the solution will leap at you from the pages of your journal. You will start to see patterns. Your answers to many of the questions that you have will be hidden in the midst of the text. With each dilemma there is a lesson to be learned, every storm has a warning of dark clouds but it’s always followed by sunshine and a rainbow. Dancing is a great distraction as well as a happy feeling. Laughing is the best medicine for the heart that is broken. 

Journals will save your life – well, at least help it make sense in the here and now. Now that you are thinking about it, start a journal today. Don’t just write in the journal but take a few minutes to read and reflect on what was written. See what treasurers are inside of you. Treasures you never knew where there because you were too busy having a fit.

You are Bound No More. 

Pastor Linda Hillman 

(c) 2014 Living Above Hurt Ministries