October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive. In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partners.

If you’re beginning to feel as if your partner or a loved one’s partner is becoming abusive, there are a few behaviors that you can look out for. Watch out for these red flags and if you’re experiencing one or more of them in your relationship, call the hotline to talk about what’s going on.

• Telling you that you can never do anything right
• Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away
• Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members
• Embarrassing or shaming you with put-downs
• Controlling every penny spent in the household
• Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
• Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
• Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
• Preventing you from making your own decisions
• Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children
• Preventing you from working or attending school
• Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets
• Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
• Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
• Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol

** Someone reading this was slapped, punched, kicked, choked, and beaten last night. It can stop today. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224




You are Bound No More.



Pastor Linda Hillman
Pastorlindahillman@hotmail.com

Bound No More

The one thing we need but many of us struggle to get is respect. In life, we will go through some hard times and if we are lucky, we will be able to come out on the winning side. However, what about the one that are caught in the cracks. Is there hope for the woman whose been abused (emotionally, mentally, physically or socially)? Who is there to let that woman know there is hope in her hopeless situation?

We hear so much about sisterhood yet we are set apart. We gossip about one another steal each other men and if we get the chance, we will ruin another’s reputation so we look good. Now does this sound like sisterhood? More importantly how are we being good examples for the girls and women to come after us? Are we allowing them to find hope for their situations? Let me share my story and may be, someone will see there is hope and make a change for the better.

As a teenager, I suffered being molested, verbally abused and lived in a house raging with domestic violence. I grew up with anger issues and never tried to deal with them. I had relationship after relationship fail. One day I came to the realization that the life I was living was just a shadow of what could be. I did not have to live with the pain, frustration and depression. I could rise above it. I could be free. However, I knew that it would take some restoration of my inner emotions. I would have to learn how to look at life differently, not using my own reasoning because it was skewed and fragile.

I sought help from counselors and coaches that help my see past the hurt, habits and hang-ups. I was able to start a relationship on a healthy note and those negative friends – well I was able to influence them to be more positive. This did not happen over night it only started with a single step.

The first step can be the hardest however, if you are truly ready for healing to occur in your life then you will allow this step to take place, including removing all negative and unhealthy influences in your life. Many times, it is what we allow in our lives that hinder us the most. I had to deal with the past in order to maintain my present and secure my future.

We learned in history that if we do not learn from history it is bound to repeat itself. Well, this is true even in our lives. If we are not willing to learn from bad decisions, our fears, our failure and, even more importantly, our successes then we are bound to repeat them. Dr. Susan Jeffers says, “Life is not a struggle but an opportunity”. Additionally, you only get a single opportunity to make it count. Do not live with regret and remorse. Not to make light of the experiences you have been through, Nevertheless, if I can learn to let go of the pain and anger, then why not you?